Better Late Than Never
by hermiine
Summary: This story ads one more reason to why Mac had a connection to Commander Aiken from Capitol Crime (season 7, episode 12). Sort of a parallel-story to Never Too Late. COMPLETE
1. Part 1

**Better Late Than Never **

**Author:** hermiine

**Summery:** This story ads one more reason to why Mac had a connection to Commander Aiken from Capitol Crime. Sort of a parallel-story to Never Too Late.

**Rating:** PG

**Spoilers:** Anything up to the present is fair game, but mainly from Capitol Crimes (season 7) including some borrowed lines.

**Disclaimer:** The characters do not belong to me

**Author's Notes: **When I was watching Capitol Crime this idea came to me about there being one more thing that Mac and Commander Aiken had in common. For what was going to happen after that I had two different ideas. One of them became the story Never Too Late (You'll find it here ), that I posted around Easter-time this year. The other idea is what made this story. The first part is the exact same for both stories, but the rest will be very different, even lengthwise. The biggest thank you goes to Cria for beta-reading. And a final warning, the story isn't completely written out yet so I really can't make any promises regarding regular and often posts, but I promise to do my best.

**Part 1 **

_January 2002_

Sturgis had come into Mac's office to apologize and try to start on a new page with her, but somehow he had once again gotten himself into a discussion about the tension between her and Harm. The last weeks it had somehow changed, Sturgis didn't know why, but lately the two of them had acted strangely around each other. They were going out of the way not to say anything the least hurtful or upsetting to the other, but had in that also lost the spirit of friendship between them. Sturgis had almost doubted that he should call Harm at all and ask how to handle her. In the end he had still thought that Harm probably was the only one who had the slightest idea of how to handle her.

"There seems to be a lot of tension between you two," Sturgis said to her 'Especially now' he thought, but didn't say that out aloud afraid that that would put her even more into defensive mode.

"Some," Mac agreed.

"A lot," Sturgis suggested instead.

"Look you're missing the point, Sturgis," she said wanting to steer the conversation away from the dangerous topic. She was going to fail completely.

"Come on, Mac," he goaded her on.

"I slept with him," Mac said. 'When will I learn to think before I talk?' she thought as soon as the words were out of her mouth, but in one way it was a relief to have someone she could talk about it with even if Sturgis definitely was the wrong person to do so with. She and Harm had hardly even broached the subject. However his best friend might not be the best person to vent to. She wasn't going to say anything more about it now. No way.

"Is that the problem?" Sturgis asked very shocked by her confession.

"There is no problem," Mac said harshly, but Sturgis wasn't very convinced by it.

"Then why don't you just get over it and move on?" Sturgis suggested. He wondered a little about when in time this had happened, but he pushed those thoughts away since he was quite sure he didn't want to know more about it.

"It wouldn't work," Mac had gotten up to close the door. She sure hoped that no one else had heard her admit that they had slept together. That would make the whole thing even worse.

"Why?"

"Because I'm in love with him," Mac said still facing the door "Did I say that?" and to herself she continued beating herself 'What am I saying? Where did I leave my brain?' Mac went over and sat down in one of the visitors started trying to do some damage control. "You have to keep that to yourself."

"OK, but maybe you should talk..."

"I mean it, Sturgis."

"So do I," Sturgis said. He really didn't want to get involved in this thing between the two of them. He was however for their sake hoping that they would find a way for them to come to terms with this.

* * *

The next day Sturgis and Mac were working together in the conference room. In the previous interview they had found out that they had been on the wrong path and were now trying to figure out where to go from there. Mac had seemed absent-minded the whole day and Sturgis had observed how much effort it took for her to be able to focus on what they were doing. At the moment she was beating herself up for having her instincts or visions not leading them right. Sturgis didn't want her to be so hard on herself. He was slowly getting more interested in what had triggered this connection between the two women.

"Pain, happiness, regret, pride in serving your country," he suggested as things they could have in common and then continued "Look at the facts. You're both single women in the military with everything that carries with it. You're both strong, vulnerable, too. You've each had your share of problems with men... Sorry."

"No, you're right Sturgis. In more ways than you think."

"Why is that?"

"I'm pregnant," she mumbled almost inaudible, but Sturgis who was sitting right beside her caught every word.

"Harm?" Sturgis asked, but knowing what she had said yesterday he didn't doubt that Harm was the father.

Mac nodded and buried her face in her hands. She wanted this. Harm's child. How many times had she dreamed about being pregnant with Harm's child? Uncountable times. Those dreams had however also involved a marriage or at least a relationship. A night that they had both chosen to ignore as much as they could wasn't it. Mac wasn't sure if he had ever really loved her, maybe from his part it had just been lust and physical attraction. She knew that he respected her and now believed that the reason he had backed away from this situation so many times before was that he only felt physical attraction for her and nothing else, but respected her too much to give in to that attraction.

She knew that he hadn't been sure of what she wanted on that ferry in Sydney, she didn't even know herself exactly what she had suggested. All she knew was that she had thought that if they ever took a step over that line between just being friends and being something else, then they would also be able to tell each other how they felt. She had been ready, but seeing the regret in Harm's eyes the morning after had made her swallow her words and keep quiet. What she had thought was unspoken love she now took as plain lust and desire. The regret had become mirrored in her eyes, if he didn't have those same feelings for her this night had been in vain. It had only hurt their friendship. She had escaped his apartment as soon as she possibly could and in the following four weeks they hadn't uttered one word about it to each other hoping that they would somehow be able to restore their fragile friendship.

"Does he know?" Sturgis asked and woke Mac up from her thoughts.

"No, I just found out yesterday," Mac shook her head in her hands and then she turned her head so she could see him. She looked so scared like she needed someone to come and help her.

"You know you should be telling him this. That and what you let slip yesterday. He'll support you..."

"I know, I know. I will tell him about the baby once he gets home from the Patrick Henry, I'd never keep his child away from him. Sturgis, I'm sorry to bother you with this. I know you don't want to get involved."

"I want to help my friends," Sturgis said. Slowly he was realizing that in this office your colleagues were also your friends. You were expected to get involved in their problems and that was something that had taken him some time to get used to.

"You have helped," Mac said, but regardless of that help she was no closer to knowing what would happen next than she had been before.

**TBC**


	2. Part 2

**Part 2 **

_June 2010_

"Isabelle, you better get down here now," Mac shouted. She was standing in the hallway looking up the stairs to where her daughter had her room.

"Coming Mom," her daughter shouted back.

A couple of minutes later Isabelle came running down the stairs.

"Sorry Dad, I just had to finish my drawing for Grandma. Look it's a puppy!"

"It's very nice, Belle, but we need to get going now," the tall man standing beside Mac said. The time that Belle had needed to get ready, he had needed to use to get ready to leave.

"Your Grandma is going to think that it's wonderful. She's meeting you at the park later," Mac added.

"Why can't you come with us too, Mom?"

"I need to go and meet an old friend at the airport, but I'll see you later in the afternoon."

"Go out to the car and I'll be right there." Once Isabelle was out the door he turned to Mac "Good luck today. Are you sure you don't want me to come with you?"

"Yeah, it will be fine. Sturgis and Trish will be there among others. I appreciate you taking Belle today," Mac paused "Do you think we've done the right thing keeping this from her?"

"What else could we have done? Tell her that her biological father is alive, but have no idea that she exists and we have no idea how he's going to react to this. When you've talked to him we will know what to tell her. One more day hasn't hurt her."

"Dad, are you coming?" Isabelle shouted towards the house.

"I have to leave now. Be strong, Sarah," he said and stroked his finger over her cheek.

"I'll do my best. See you tonight," Mac said quietly. Only two days had passed since they had found out what had happened to Harm after his plane crashed down over Afghanistan eight years ago. One uncertainty had been replaced by another. Mac now had know idea of how he was going to react to finding out he had a daughter and how their lives were going to be affected by his return. She couldn't explain in words what she was feeling. It was a blur of conflicting emotions; happiness that Harm was coming home, sadness that he had missed so many important years of his daughter's life and a fear of how he was going to react to the news of her.

Mac realized she didn't have much time anymore and grabbed her car keys. Harm was going to come with a plane at 1000 and she wanted to be there in time.

* * *

A crowd of people were standing and watching the Air Force plane land. The crowd consisted of Harm's family and former colleagues. At an assigned place photographers and journalists were waiting. Mac was standing next to Sturgis trying to keep as calm as possible. The plane slowly taxied toward the crowd. Soon after

it stopped, the door opened.

A tall Navy uniform framed the door. Everyone's attention was solely directed to this one person. The place was deathly still. No one was moving. The only sound was of hundreds of cameras snapping off photos.

Harm kept walking towards the crowd and the first he reached was his mother.

"Oh Harmon." They put their arms around each other and held on tight. Then they let go and Harm wiped away the tears that were strumming down his mother's cheek. She then stepped away to give room to someone else. This someone was Mac. He held her and swung her around in a firm embrace, Mac was holding on even tighter to him.

"You missed me, huh?" Harm said and Mac just gave him one more tight hug. "I missed you so, so much. It was the thoughts of you that kept me alive the whole time there." He lightly stroked her cheek and brushed the tears away with his thumb.

"I missed you too, Harm, more then you can possibly know," she told him and then she too stepped back to give the rest of his friends and family a chance to greet him. Many minutes later everyone had gotten to hug Harm and they were all getting ready to leave. Harm assumed that he was going to go with his mother, but he didn't know if he still had his apartment. He had only been told a few things about what had happened while he was gone. One was the death of his elderly grandmother. He was sure there were many more things that had changed as well.

"You need to go with Mac now. She has something to tell you," Trish said and squeezed his hand. Harm turned to Mac and she smiled nervously at him.

* * *

"So I'm guessing you have something pretty important to tell me. And somehow my mother knows about it too," Harm said once they were both in Mac's car.

"Yes, I do. Where do you want to go?" Mac said. She didn't want to talk about it in the car.

"Somewhere not so public..." Harm said looking around at the represents from media who had started to pack up their things. He was hoping they could go to his own or Mac's apartment where it would probably be a lot calmer.

"We can go to my place," Mac said. "You look well, considering..."

"They treated me better the last couple of months so... I'm not quite allowed to talk about all of that yet. I just want you to know, I didn't stay away voluntarily, I would never have done that to you or anyone else I care about. Especially not after what had just happened between us."

"Harm, I never ever doubted that you would do everything within your power to get back to us," she looked over at him from her position at the wheel.

"You moved?" Harm asked after a few moments of silence when he noticed they weren't heading the direction of her apartment.

"Yeah, four years ago." Mac answered. "It's not much further now." Soon they were parking in the garage of Mac's house.

Mac unlocked the door and offered Harm to enter. She showed him to the kitchen and started making coffee for them and took out some things for them to eat. Harm offered to help, but Mac told him to sit down at the kitchen table. When the coffee was ready she sat down at the table.

Everything about the house told Harm that there was a family living here and not just Mac. Most likely a family with children. He had looked around as they entered, but he hadn't found any photos. He wondered if that was what Mac wanted to tell him. He realized that he really shouldn't be surprised that Mac had moved on in her life, that she had gotten family she had always wanted, but there was a little disappointment in his heart at that fact. Maybe he should appreciate that at least she had seen some of the same things in their relationship back then, to feel that she needed to tell him in private about her new life, about her family.

"I wanted to tell you this in person, so you don't hear this from someone else," Mac didn't get any farther before the door of the house was opened and sounds of light running steps was heard.

"Belle, I told you to wait in the car," her stepfather cried after her "Come back here," but Isabelle wasn't listening and soon she entered the kitchen.

"Mom, I forgot my medicine."

"Oh," Mac said. She wasn't sure if either Harm or her daughter was realizing who the other were.

"I'm sorry, Mac. I tried to make her wait outside and I was hoping you wouldn't be here yet," Harm was surprised to hear Jack Keeter's voice. Jack had at one time been Harm's closest friend and though they hadn't seen each other a lot in the years before Harm's crash in the Afghani dessert, there had still been a certain band there that made this situation seem rather weird. Jack grabbed the bag with all of Isabelle's medical things and hoped to be able to leave before either of Harm or Isabelle realized who the other were. He realized that it would probably be wisest to let Mac tell Harm about her daughter alone if she had the chance. Not knowing what to say to Harm, he just nodded and said "I'm glad that you've gotten home well."

"Who are you?" Isabelle asked Harm curiously.

**TBC**


	3. Part 3

**Part 3 **

Isabelle put out her hand to shake it the way her mother had taught her to say hello to people she didn't know.

"I'm an old friend of your mother's. My name is Harm," he took Isabelle's little hand and shook it

"Cool, just like my father's. My biological father, not Dad," she pointed at Jack.

"Belle, come here," Mac called Belle over to her and Jack decided to leave them some privacy. She lifted her daughter up to sit on her lap as she slowly started talking "Harm, this is my daughter Isabelle. She will be eight in a month. She was born almost 8 months after you disappeared," Mac tried to warn Harm a little before she told him straight out who Isabelle really was "Belle, Harm is your biological father. He's come home from Afghanistan now."

"No, he's not. He doesn't look like that in the pictures."

"Well, Jack, Sturgis, your grandma and I all recognize him so I think you've been proven wrong there."

Harm still hadn't said anything

"I think he might have forgotten how to speak English, Mom," Belle stated.

"Eh, no, I'm just shocked. I didn't know," he looked from Mac to Belle and back.

"Belle, why don't you go and find Jack and go down to Mrs. Sommers' to get an ice cream."

"OK," Belle left fast so her mother wouldn't have a chance to change her mind about the ice cream.

"I got pregnant that night we slept together and I found out when you were away on the Patrick Henry," Mac said when she heard Jack and Belle leaving the house "I was going to tell you when you got back, but you never did."

"That little girl is my daughter," Harm was in shock. He had tried to prepare himself to come home and find many things changed, but this had not been a part of any of his wildest fantasies.

"Yes, she is. Belle has always known that Jack isn't her biological father, but she calls him dad."

"Does my mother know about her?"

"Yes, we had a DNA-test so that your name could be placed on her birth-certificate. Your mother has been very supportive ever since I told her I was pregnant. I hope you don't mind that I told her..."

"No, of course not. I'm glad she knows. That they both know. What... what does she know about me?"

"She knows that you went missing before she was born. There's this wall for the people who went missing or died in Afghanistan, we go there sometimes. We haven't told her that you were back and I guess you don't look that much like the photos from back then," they both smiled "We agreed that I should talk to you before we told her. I didn't know how you were going to react to all of this. I mean it must be a shock... I was afraid that you might not take it so well. At least not at first."

"It is a shock, but I hope you knew and know that if I had been able to I would have supported you and I would have been there for you. For both of you."

"I do, Harm. I do. That was one thing I never doubted. That you would have wanted her. And I've always told Isabelle that too. I just wasn't so sure about how you'd feel about finding out you have an 8-years-old daughter."

"Isabelle," Harm said and there were minutes of silence.

"I don't know what to say to all of this," Harm said "It's so much at once."

"I understand that," Mac nodded.

"There are still so many questions."

"You can ask me anything. You can call me at any time," she got a paper out and scribbled down the numbers to her cell and to the house.

"I think I want to meet her, you know for real?"

"Of course, I'm really glad you do. You should know that you're free to see her at any time. I guess if you want to be more involved we need to make some agreement about that eventually, but that can wait until your properly settled here again and you've gotten to know each other. I want her to know you," Mac felt like she was talking too much and took a deep breath "What are your plans for now?"

"I don't know. Do I still have my apartment? Are you still at JAG?"

"No, I'm an instructor at Quantico. You still own your apartment, but there are some people renting it right now. Your mother and I both agreed that it was better to rent it out then for it to be empty all of the time. I think your mother told the tenants that you're back, but there's still a few months of cancellation time if you want to go back to live there. Trish has a hotel room for you for now. I would have offered you to stay here, but ..." Harm nodded understanding why that wasn't a very good idea considering the situation "We'll see what happens, I guess. You can borrow my car if you'd like. Your Corvette is in storage, somewhere. I thought it would be nice for Isabelle to have it eventually, but now it's yours of course," Mac took yet another deep breath. She had done it again, talked far too much.

"You really thought that I was dead."

"Yeah," Mac said slowly "The first couple of years I didn't, but then I realized that I didn't want Belle to grow up like that. Searching, never at peace with what she had. I saw what you went through, what I was going through myself. I didn't want that for her. I had to be happy and..." she shrugged her shoulders unable to explain what was in her mind right now.

"This must be quite a shock for you as well. To have me back here, I mean."

"It is," Mac sighed and quickly continued so there would be no misunderstandings "But it's purely positive. I'm really happy for Belle's sake."

"You're not happy for you?" Harm asked carefully, afraid of the answer. He took her hand and squeezed it.

"Harm... please don't," she pleaded with him. She didn't want to admit to the strong feelings that were once again starting resurfacing and making themselves known in her heart.

"I'm sorry..."

"No, it's... of course I'm happy that you are back," she started to with her hands wipe together the crumbs that were lying on the kitchen table. "Your mother wanted to have a homecoming party for you, but she thought that it might be too much for you today so they are having it tomorrow night instead."

"I think I do need some time to think about all of this. Are you coming tomorrow? With Isabelle?"

"If you want us to, yes."

"I do," Harm said and after that it wasn't long until he was out of the house. Mac wasn't quite sure if he was at all happy about finding out about Isabelle or if just felt obligated to be happy. She hoped that once the shock had eased, he would be able to be really glad that Isabelle did exist.

**TBC**


	4. Part 4

**Part 4 **

She went outside to go down to the little ice cream stand that was just around the corner. Otherwise Jack was probably going to wait there for quite some time before returning home.

When she got there Isabelle had already finished her ice cream and was playing at the swings with some other children. Mac sat down beside Jack on the bench where he was sitting watching her.

"Did everything go well with, Harm?" he asked her without looking up.

"Yeah," Mac nodded.

"I'm really going to miss her, Sarah," he told her not letting go with his eyes on his daughter.

"I know you will, but you can still come around to visit and..."

"It won't be the same. Especially not now that Harm is back. She won't need me in that way anymore."

"She's not going to forget you."

"Who knows?"

"I know," Mac looked at Jack instead of her daughter.

"When do you want to tell her?" Jack asked "Do you think we should put it off longer because of Harm's return and all."

"I'm not sure it's a good idea to postpone it anymore," Mac said. They had planned to tell Isabelle that they were going to separate the day they had found out that Harm was coming back and had decided to wait with telling her until after Harm was really back. "Friday we have that meeting with the lawyers, maybe we should tell her afterwards?"

Jack nodded agreeing to do that.

"In a way I think she already knows," Mac said and was looking at Isabelle again.

Six months of couples therapy had led them to stop fighting and together agree to separate and get a divorce. Neither one of them had met anyone else and they weren't angry with each other either, they had just stopped being in love and weren't happy together anymore as a couple. The friendship they had had before they had gotten together wasn't as strong as it had been back then either, however they still cared a lot about each other's happiness and were determined to make the separation as easy as they possibly could for each other and most of all for Isabelle.

"Maybe she's still in denial, just like we were," Jack commented.

"Not anymore."

"Not anymore," Jack agreed. "Friday sounds good."

They sat silent for a while watching Isabelle play or as they soon realized arguing a little with one of the other children.

"So are you going to go to that party tomorrow?" Jack asked.

"I'll talk to Belle about it, but I think so, yes. Are you coming too?"

"Wouldn't it be strange if you went and I didn't?."

"I guess."

Belle came up to them and asked if they could go home now, she was tired of arguing. They went home to have dinner together and later in the evening after Mac had talked to Isabelle, she called Trish and told her they were coming to the party.

* * *

Trish had rented the reception hall at the hotel where she, Frank and Harm were currently staying to have the party. Trish and Frank would often come and visit Mac, Belle and Jack and then they would always stay at Mac and Jack's house, but this time Trish had of course wanted to be close to Harm.

The whole hall was totally crowded when Mac, Jack and Belle arrived. Harm had had another set of debriefings and been questioned by a new set of people during the day and was already rather tired when the first guests had started to arrive.

Mac and Jack walked up to him both holding Belle's hands with her between them. Jack offered his right hand to Harm and he took it and they shook hands.

"I'm really happy that you're back, Harm."

"It's good to be back," Harm told him.

"Hi Harm," Mac said. "Belle, aren't you going to say hi to Harm?"

"Hi," Isabelle said shyly and then she caught sight of Little AJ. She looked up at both her mother and stepfather asking them to go to him and play. Isabelle often spent time at the Roberts' house and in the last year she had become really good friends with Little AJ and Jimmy. The age difference wasn't really a problem anymore. "Mom, can I?"

"Yeah," Mac nodded "It's OK."

"Mac," Trish waved from the middle of the room "Can you come here for a while?" Mac excused herself and went over to Trish.

"So."

"So," Jack answered Harm. There was some more silence and then Jack added "This is rather awkward."

"That is stating the obvious," Harm pointed out.

"I hope you're not upset about me and Mac. I mean..."

"No, I'm not..."

"Dad," they were interrupted by Belle who came running back to them and took Jack's hand and started dragging him off. "Dad, come on, you have to tell Mom that I can go outside with AJ and Jimmy."

"Belle..." Jack started but he was forced to walk with her up to Mac and Trish.

"So what is it like to be back? A lot of things have changed, haven't they?" Sturgis had come up and was now standing next to Harm.

"More then I could have ever imagined. I have a daughter... Mac and Jack... It's like there isn't room for me any more around here. I don't know what I expected to find here, but this wasn't it..." Harm was watching his mother standing with the family of three talking. They looked like the perfect family, like they belonged together.

Sturgis looked at Harm surprised. It wasn't like Harm to... feel sorry for himself like that. "Well, I think there will be made room for you. Belle has always been a bit cautious with strangers and people she doesn't know well. I think you'll definitely get the place as her parent, as her dad in time if you just want to. And Mac, well..."

"I didn't mean for it to sound like that..." Harm realized that Sturgis was trying to comfort him. "Of course it's great that she and Mac have been doing so fine even if I wasn't here."

"It took a lot of time for that to happen, you should know that. I don't think I've ever seen a person so alone as she was after you were lost. Nothing we did for her seemed to help at all. The first years I think it was just Isabelle that managed to keep her alive on the inside too."

Harm felt ashamed of how relived and good it felt to know that Mac hadn't taken his disappearance as easy as he had somehow gotten the impression of from what he has seen of her life now.

"We were so happy for her when she and Jack started seeing each other romantically. He was good for her, helped her to move on with her life. She became happy again. I think that was the first time that she really saw that we had been beside her the whole time."

"When did they get married?" Harm asked. His eyes had followed Belle and Jack who were now standing with Bud, Harriet, AJ and Jimmy.

"It's been four years now. Jack was stationed in Washington in 2004 and I guess they started seeing each other a year later."

"So what has happened in your life these past 8 years?" Harm asked..

"Well, Bobbie and I got married and ... Well, two years ago she was in a car accident... She's in a wheelchair now. She wanted to be here today, but there was a hearing in the senate and she had to be there. Maybe you can come over and visit us some day soon though."

"I sure will. I'm sorry about the accident."

"Don't be. We're not. It's just made us more grateful that we have each other."

Trish waved to Harm to come over to where she and Mac were standing. He said good bye to Sturgis and went over to where they were standing.

"We were talking about taking Isabelle out for a picnic tomorrow. Mac and Jack have to work and Isabelle is supposed to be with Harriet, but I thought maybe we could take her and spend some time with her. I see her so seldom and maybe it will be easier for you to get to know her when there aren't so many people around," Trish explained to him.

"Only if you want to. I mean if it's too much for you..." Mac started saying. She was really scared that they would scare Harm away from Isabelle by putting too much on him from start.

"No, it's not. I want to get to know her. I really do and I've already missed so much."

Neither Trish nor Mac could say anything against that.

"I have to go and tell them to start getting out the food," Trish excused herself. Mac offered to help, but Trish said it wasn't necessary.

"I'm afraid I'm going to push too much with her. She doesn't seem so interested in getting to know me and I don't want to force her."

"But she does want to get to know you. She's been asking a lot of questions about you all day. She's just shy right now."

"Maybe you're right. You know her better than I do."

"You'll get there too."

"Jack's good with her."

"Yes, he is."

"I was watching the three of you before and I kept thinking, if I had come home from Afghanistan that could have been us, you, me and her."

"I hope not," Mac muttered thinking about her divorce. Unfortunately the comment that was intended just for her own ears wasn't as quiet as it was meant to be and Harm had heard what she had said.

"I'm sorry, Mac. I wasn't aware that the thought of that was so awful to you," he stalked away out to the hotel garden.

**TBC**


	5. Part 5

**Part 5 **

Only a few people noticed him leaving and they also saw Mac following him outside.

"Harm," she asked out in the garden unable to tell where he had gone off to. He didn't answer her so she went around and by chance behind some bushes she found him sitting on a bench.

"Harm," she sat down beside him and put her hand on his arm. "Harm, you need to hear me out, you don't know what I meant by saying that."

"Mac, I'm sure you have your reasons. It's just... everything's too much for me right now." She could see how his shoulders were starting to shake and a little tear was gathering and becoming larger in the corner of his eye.

"I know it is, Harm," Mac said and carefully put her arms around him and held him close to her. At first he was tense, but soon he was relaxing into her embrace. He was still upset about what she had said, but it simply felt too good to have her arms around him to be able to keep up a tough façade. "Harm the reason why I said that is that... Jack and I are getting a divorce and... I guess I always had this dream that if you had come back from the Patrick-Henry we would have talked, worked things out between us and it would have been us forever. I didn't always believe this, but it's what I wished for. I'm sorry for saying that in there, it was a really stupid way to say it, I realize that."

Soon they were sitting there together completely quiet looking out on the trees, bushes and other benches of the little park. Mac had let go of Harm when she felt that he had really understood that she hadn't meant what he had thought she said.

"So how come you and Jack? I mean I never sensed anything between you," Harm finally asked.

"When Jack moved to Washington, we saw each other a lot. Mostly because of Sturgis I guess. Jack was fun, he made me enjoy things that I hadn't for a long time. And he adored Belle right from the start. We started seeing each other more and we fell in love. We should have waited with getting married though," Mac offered Harm a half-smile. "We started having problems just a year into the marriage," she explained.

"I'm sorry, Mac. I really am. Have you told anyone about the divorce yet?"

"No, I think Sturgis must know in a way. He knows that we've been to counseling and I guess he must have figured it out by now that it hasn't gone very well. It's going to be hard to tell people about it. Especially Belle."

"It will be OK, Mac. I'm sure."

"We have a meeting with our lawyers tomorrow to work out everything with the divorce and all. We plan on telling Belle about it afterwards. Jack has gotten one of those furnished apartments ..."

They were both looking out on the park, but from time to time they would look to their side and once or twice their eyes met.

"Have you thought about what part you want to take in Belle's life?" Mac asked him

Harm didn't say anything, just kept on looking at the big oak tree right in front of him.

"I'm sorry. I know it's still too early. I shouldn't have asked, I'm just so worried about everything that's going on. Everything is changing for Isabelle ... and for me too I guess. All I can do is stand here and watch it happen."

"Mac, it's just... I never thought I'd be in this situation. I thought that if I had children I would be there from the start. I don't have a plan for this," he paused "I mean I want to get to know her, I want to be a part of her life like a father should, but I'm not sure if that's what's really best for her. Maybe it's something I just want for me, she already seems to have all the people she needs in her life, I'm not sure she needs me."

"Of course she does. And... and I need you. I don't want to be a single parent anymore. Jack has always helped me with Belle, more then he had to and I've had your mother, Sturgis and all of our friends have always helped more then... more then I ever thought was possible, but in the end I was the only one responsible for her happiness, for her life. No one could help me with that. No one except for you, Harm," Mac looked at him trying to read his mind "But most of all your daughter needs you, because no one, not Jack and no one else, has been able to take your place in her life."

Harm looked at her in relief. To some it might have seemed rather selfish for Mac to talk about her and her daughter's needs from a man just released from 8 years in captivity, but this was really was Harm needed to hear. He needed to know that he was needed.

"I want to be her father, I want to be her dad," he said after a few seconds of silence.

"I'm glad you do," Mac said and smiled at him. At the same time they both remembered that they had been gone for a while now and people were probably starting to wonder where Harm was. They got up from the bench and walked back to the reception hall of the hotel.

"Is everything OK? I started wondering where you'd gone off to," Trish came up to them when they stepped into the room.

"Everything's OK. We just had some things to talk about," Harm explained. Mac excused herself to go to the bathroom and Harm and Trish remained standing together.

"Every time I see you again, I'm so surprised that you're here. I just can't believe it," Trish said emotionally.

"I am here, Mom," Harm said and mother and son embraced.

"I know and I'm so glad you are."

Mac had returned to the room and gone to say hello to Frank, who she hadn't seen until then.

"She's quite a girl, Mac," Trish said.

"Yes, she is," Harm agreed.

"I'm so amazed with her for how she's been able to take care of Isabelle, stay in the Marine Corps... and found a way to be happy again. I wish I had gotten to know her even before... before you were gone. She's the daughter I never had."

"Mac has told me how much you've meant to her these last years, how you supported her right from the start. I'm very grateful to you for that."

"You know I really didn't do it for you. I did it for my granddaughter."

"And I'm even more grateful because of that."

Trish nodded and smiled. Harm started to walk off, but Trish stopped him.

"Harm," she waited until he was standing before her "I know that this might not be the right time or place, but... What really happened between you and Mac? From what I know you weren't seeing each other, but you made Isabelle and I know Mac loved you. That became very obvious when you were lost. I thought you loved her too, or at least respected her enough as a friend not to have a one-night-stand with her."

"I didn't want it to become a... a one-night-stand, but... Neither one of us were ready to talk about us yet, not even after that had happened, but I hope that if I had come back from the Patrick Henry, back then... then we would have worked things out between us eventually and I think Mac believes that too now."

Trish nodded again.

"Let's go and get something to eat," Trish suggested and they walked off to the table with food and beverages.

The rest of the evening Harm spent talking to an incredible amount of people. He had no idea that he knew that many people. At the end of the evening he was completely exhausted from meeting and talking to so many people, yet he felt like he hadn't talked enough to the people that really mattered the most.

TBC


	6. Part 6

**Part 6 **

The next day right before lunch-time Harm was pushing Isabelle on the swings in the park and Frank and Trish were sitting on the blanket with the picnic basket. Mac had dropped Belle off at the hotel with them this morning and first they had had breakfast together and then they had gone to the grocery store to buy some things for lunch. Harm had been rather shocked by the whole grocery store experience. There were so many things and different foods that he had never seen before. It was the first time he was in a store of any kind for a really long time and he was just glad that it wasn't during the worst rush hour. Isabelle kept running back and forth and he was terrified that they were going to loose her, yet his mother and Frank didn't seem to be worried about that at all.

Isabelle talked almost nonstop with Trish and Frank, but very little with Harm. He had no idea what to talk about with an eight-year old girl. Especially not when she was supposed to be your daughter. Isabelle seemed uncomfortable with the fact that every time she neared Harm, she was closely observed by Trish and Frank. It was something that Harm felt too, and it was definitely not making things easier for either one of them.

When they arrived at the park Isabelle had wanted to go on the swings and Frank had said that he thought Harm should push her. Trish and Frank couldn't help themselves from continuing to watch the two of them intently hoping to see that they were making some progress. Their attention was suddenly captured by an astray dog that came a little too close to their picnic. Before the owners of the dog had gotten there to drag the dog away, Isabelle had sprung from the swing and grabbed Harm's hand and started to run off into the small gathering of trees.

"Hurry up," she said and Harm decided to follow her and ran beside her. Within a few seconds they were out of view of Trish and Frank and then they slowed down. On the other side of the trees there was a walking path and now they slowed down and walked instead. Harm was unsure if she'd want to let go of his hand, but figured that if she did she'd probably simply let go of it.

"You do this often? Run off like this?" Harm asked her.

"Yeah..." Isabelle said "I promised Mom to stop, but I figured that if I brought you along it should be OK."

"Yeah, I guess so," he said and smiled at her "So where are we heading?"

"Secret," she said. They left the path and climbed up through the woods again until they reached a tree and Isabelle started to climb up the tree.

"Eh... I can't..." Harm started.

"Oh, come on... please," she begged him. She often climbed in trees and was good at it, but decided not to climb so high before Harm came after her. She had turned around and tried to persuade him to come after her.

"Well, OK," he said when she gave him the most pleading look she could muster. He brought his hands and arms up to the branches and threaded one of them to see if they'd hold for him as well. Though, Harm was no longer as talented in tree climbing as his daughter was, they had eventually gotten high enough for Isabelle's liking.

"I like it up here. No one can see you, but you see everyone who walks by on the path," she said and her eyes followed an old man who was walking with his dog on the path bellow.

"Yeah, it's nice," Harm agreed.

"Harm..." she said a few seconds later and looked up at him.

"Yeah."

"Are you... are you happy to be back here in America?" she asked.

"Of course I am."

"Because you don't look very happy about it sometimes."

"I'm sorry about that. I didn't mean to... I'm very happy to be back and to be able to see you, but I didn't even know that you existed and everything else that is changed around here... It's all just making me so tired. Isabelle... Belle... I am very glad that you are here."

"I'm glad that you came back too."

They sat silent for a while, but finally a rather loud growl from Isabelle's stomach was heard.

"Hungry, huh?" Harm said and smiled "I thought we just had breakfast."

"I'm growing," she answered and started to climb down the tree. When they were both back on the ground she took Harm's hand again and they walked back to Trish and Frank together.

**TBC**


	7. Part 7

**Part 7 **

Mac had just returned home from work when she heard a car pull up outside the house. The meeting with the lawyers had taken a while, but they were glad that they had been able to agree on a lot of things even if some of the finer points had taken some discussion before they could find terms that both liked. Now they were going to have to live apart for six months before they could be officially divorced.

After the meeting they had both gone back to their jobs and Mac had by now returned home again. Jack was going to go and pick up the keys to his new apartment and then he was coming home too and they were going to tell Isabelle about the split up. Hearing a car drive up, she went to go greet Isabelle, Harm and Trish.

Outside she was met by the vision of her daughter walking hand in hand with her father up to the front porch.

"Hey, honey."

"Hey, Mom."

"Did you have a nice time today?" she asked them both, but it was obvious that the trip to the park and the picnic had been great for the two of them.

"Yeah," Harm and Isabelle said both at the same time.

"That's great," Mac said.

"Mom, can Harm come with us to Grandma Sarah's farm? She was his grandma too, you know," Isabelle said very purposely.

"Mac, I didn't..." Harm started saying not wanting Mac to think that he had put Isabelle up to asking that question.

"Harm, I know," Mac interrupted him laughing a little. She was quite used to her daughter being very straight forward. "Belle, maybe we can talk about that when Harm comes over tomorrow."

"I'll see you later, Isabelle," Harm said and kneeled down before her. She gave him a hug and he hugged her back very tightly. "I'll call you tomorrow before I come over, Mac."

"OK," Mac said "Bye."

Mac and Isabelle walked back into the house, but both stopped just inside the door and watched Harm drive off.

"What are we having for dinner today? Should I set the table?" Isabelle asked Mac once they had closed the door together. She was always very eager to help before dinner since she knew it would come faster then. After they had eaten was a totally different matter.

"We're going to wait a little with that," Mac answered.

"OK, can I go and play then?"

"Yeah," Mac said, but soon she had to call her back down because Jack had returned home and it was time for them to talk to her about Jack moving out. Jack had been ready to back out of the conversation saying that maybe they should give her some more time to get used to Harm being back, but in the end they both knew that it wasn't going to get any easier on anyone of them with time if they choose not to tell her now.

"Let's sit down here at the table," Mac said when they were all three gathered in the kitchen. The little girl had already sensed that they weren't going to have dinner, that something was really strange.

"Isabelle, we need to tell you something."

Isabelle nodded. She had a feeling this wasn't going to be any positive news.

"Remember this winter when your Mom and I fought a lot... We tried to hide that from you, but I think you still knew about it."

Isabelle looked down at the table, shook her head a bit denying that she had heard them.

"We didn't want to fight so we went and talked with a lady that was going to help us get better along, but even though we tried really, really hard it didn't work out like that," Mac continued to explain where Jack had left off.

"And we've decided that it's better for all of us if I don't live here anymore, honey."

"Are you getting a divorce?" Isabelle asked looking at her mom.

"Yes, we are," Mac confirmed.

Tears started to fall down Isabelle's cheeks and at the sight of that Mac couldn't keep her tears under control either.

"I don't want that," she said and climbed over to sit on Mac's lap burying her face in her mother's shoulder.

"Well, it's nothing that anyone of us really wants, but we're just going to get unhappier and unhappier if we don't do this."

"I don't want you to get a divorce," Isabelle said again and she was making Mac's shoulder considerably wet.

"I know, honey, I know, but the fact is we can't stay together just because you want us to. It doesn't work that way. We'd both do anything to make you happy, but that's just one thing we can't do."

Jack had remained sitting on the chair watching the exchange between mother and daughter and not knowing what to do for the little girl that was obviously in so much distress. There seemed to be no end of her tears. Suddenly she looked up at him and reached out her arms to him.

"Dad," she cried and wanted to hug him yet she didn't climb over to his lap at once. She was trying to physically bring them closer together.

"Oh, honey. It really isn't that bad, you know," Jack tried to convince all of them "My new apartment isn't so far away so you can still come and visit and you and Mac are still going to live here in the house just like you are now."

"But you're not going to be here. I just want everything to stay the same."

The three of them continued to sit together for a long time until the tears of their cheeks had dried.

"So what do you say we make some spaghetti and meatballs for dinner tonight?" Mac suggested.

"I don't want any, I'm not hungry. I'll go and brush my teeth," Isabelle said and both Jack and Mac were rather shocked. Isabelle not being hungry was definitely a first. She stood up and walked up the stairs to her room. Mac and Jack looked at each other, not sure if this had gone considerably well or not. It was just too intense to tell. Mac got up and followed her daughter upstairs. She helped her get into her pajamas and brush her teeth and then she tucked her in under the covers. Tears had started to fall down Isabelle's cheeks again and Mac wiped them away with her thumbs. She realized she couldn't leave her now, not like that and lay down beside her and hugged her close to her.

"It will be OK. It will be OK," Mac repeated over and over again both for herself and for her daughter. Eventually they both fell asleep.

**TBC**

**AN: **When I started posting this story I thought that in November I'd have more time to write on it and then soon finish it so I could also start posting more frequently. That changed this Thursday and right now I'm not even sure if I'll be able to keep posting at the rate I am. I will do my best to at least do that, but right now RL is very time-consuming. Thanks to everyone who's sent feedback on the story. It's very helpful, both as encouragement to actually write and to do it better. Many, many thanks to Cria for beta-reading the story. Your help is very needed (something she probably knows better than anyone else!)!


	8. Part 8

**Part 8**

"Belle, can you go and open up? It's probably Harm," Mac shouted to her daughter from the kitchen. It was close to 12 o'clock the next day. Harm had called an hour earlier and she had invited him over for lunch. Since both she and Isabelle had gotten a sudden craving for pancakes that was what they were having for lunch.

Isabelle didn't answer and just went over to the door and opened up.

"Hey Harm!" she said rather cheerfully. She hugged him.

"Something smells delicious," he said.

"We're making pancakes. Mine look like scrambled eggs, but Mom says they will taste good anyway."

"I'm sure they will," Harm agreed. He followed Isabelle out to the kitchen and said hello to Mac.

"Hey Mac."

"Hey Harm," she said and smiled not entirely convincing. Harm thought she looked like she hadn't gotten any sleep at all last night. She could see in his eyes that he was wondering how it had gone yesterday, but he wasn't going to ask as long as Isabelle was there.

"Belle, can you set the table?" she asked as she flipped the final pancake over.

"OK," she answered and Harm helped her getting the table in order. They were going to sit outside on the back porch. It was really warm to be June so they were happy that the porch was in the shade this time of the day.

They sat down and started eating. Harm gladly accepted one of Isabelle's own made pancakes when he was offered. When they were finished eating they took care of the dishes together. Harm sensed that Isabelle wasn't quite as cheerful as she had been yesterday, but she seemed to be all right from what he could tell.

Isabelle went to get a deck of cards and they sat down at the table again and played for a quite long while.

"Are we going to talk about going to Grandma Sarah's farm now?" Isabelle asked suddenly.

"Well, I guess..." Mac said looking at Harm "Harm, you are very welcome to come with us to Belleville, but I can understand if you need to be here at home now. I mean you've just gotten back. I wasn't even sure that we, me and Isabelle, were going now."

"Mom, we have to go. You said so."

"But maybe now we'd rather stay in Washington so we can spend time with Harm here. We could still go later on in the summer."

"But that's why it would be so great if Harm came with us. Please come," she said turning to Harm and pleading with her eyes.

"Do you want me to come?" he asked Mac and looked attentively at her.

"Yes, I do want you to come," Mac said and smiled encouragingly at him. There was absolutely no sign of her saying so just because of Isabelle or for any other reason than actually meaning it.

"Then how can I say no," Harm said and smiled "I'd really like to come with you."

"Cool!" Isabelle said and threw herself at Harm climbing up to sit on his lap.

"So when were you going to leave?" Harm asked.

"Well, we had planned to leave on Monday, but that can be changed if it doesn't work for you."

"No, that sounds great. I actually think it's going to be really nice to get away from here for a while. I'm not used to having so many people around me all the time."

"I know it's always very nice to go up there and just take it easy, go for a walk in the woods or look at the Benson's animals. Isabelle loves it up there. It's weird because I thought it would seem so different when Sarah wasn't there anymore, but it's like you can still feel her presence up there somehow," Mac told him. Isabelle was still sitting on her father's lap sorting the cards in some kind of game of her own. It looked so right.

"Where was she buried?" Harm asked.

"By the church up there. It's what she wanted. It was a beautiful service. I wish you'd been there."

"I wish I'd been there for many things."

"So do I," Mac said and getting an idea "You know what, you could still get to see them. Wait here," she asked Harm and Isabelle. They remained sitting, Harm trying to figure out the logic of Isabelle's game, and Mac went over to the bookshelf in the living room and took out a big photo album. She brought it with her back outside.

"My first album," Harm read the title of the album.

"It's my first album," Isabelle explained and put away the cards so Mac could put the album down on the table instead..

"Oh, really," Harm said.

"Yes."

Mac opened it up and on the first page was a picture of Isabelle as a little baby and her name and date of birth written bellow it.

"Oh my god," Harm breathed out. Mac slowly turned over to the next page. There were some pictures of a very pregnant Mac and a little note bellow saying 'just gone into labor'. It was hard to say exactly what the look on her face was saying, all Harm could feel was a pain so deep it felt like it was tearing his heart out that he hadn't been there to take part of it. And they just looked so beautiful Mac and his daughter, so, so beautiful. He wasn't sure his heart could survive this.

TBC


	9. Part 9

**Part 9 **

Harm felt so much pain looking at the pictures, but he couldn't take his eyes away from them and kept turning the pages over so that a new set of pictures would be shown to him. There were pictures of newborn Isabelle together with her proud mom, grandmother and godfather Sturgis, pictures of Isabelle sleeping, smiling, eating and crying.

Mac had her eyes on him as much as on the photos. She could see that this might not have been such a good idea as she had thought, she hadn't meant to put him in even more pain. Isabelle soon lost interest in watching the photos and went upstairs to play in her room instead.

"I'm sorry, Harm, I didn't realize this would be so hard for you," Harm had turned back to the page with Mac pregnant.

"No, I want to see this... I... You are so beautiful," he looked up at Mac "So incredibly beautiful. I just keep thinking what if."

"But we can't have those 'ifs' and if we keep thinking about them we really ... we won't enjoy what we actually got. That's something I learned these last 8 years. At first I kept thinking what if you were here beside me, but it just made be not see the people who still were. It just made me unhappy and I had to be happy for Isabelle's sake. And so do you now," she made a pause and looked deep into his eyes "Harm, don't be sad because of the time you missed with Belle, be happy that you have the chance to get to know her now."

"I know that you are right, it just isn't as easy as it might seem."

"I know it isn't easy, Harm."

"Mom," Isabelle came back from her room "Can we go to the playground?"

Mac looked at her watch and nodded "Sure. Harm?"

"Yeah, let's do that," Harm said and nodded as well. The three of them went to get their shoes on.

"You've got your medicine?" Mac asked Isabelle.

"Oops," Isabelle took off her shoes again and ran back to the kitchen.

"Is she ill?" Harm asked worriedly "I remember she had gone to get her medicine the day we first met too, hadn't she?"

"Yeah she had, but she isn't really ill. She's allergic to bee stings so we have to be careful bringing her medicine everywhere in case she gets stung. If she got stung and didn't get the medicine right away, it would be ... it would be really serious. We're trying to teach her to remember to bring the medicine herself with her everywhere, but she still forgets sometimes," Mac tried to smile, but the seriousness of her daughter's allergy shone through.

"And what do I do if she does get stung?" Harm asked her.

Mac explained glad that Harm was interested in knowing and when Isabelle returned she joined in the explanation. They locked the door behind them and walked the little distance to the playground by Mrs. Sommer's ice cream stand. Isabelle together with Mac or Jack and sometimes both were often here at weekends and now in the summer sometimes in the evenings as well. The children from the neighborhood would play together and their parents would watch them and talk to the other adults.

When they were just outside the playground Isabelle ran ahead of them. One of her best friends, Sandra, was there. The girl she had argued with the last time she was there was fortunately not there this time. Harm and Mac sat down on one of the benches and soon they were joined by one of the other mothers.

"Hello Mrs. Jones," Mac said politely. Mrs. Jones was the one in charge of the gossiping mill so she wasn't really glad that it was her they had met. She wasn't sure exactly how much was known around the neighborhood about Commander Rabb, the released prisoner of Afghanistan, being Isabelle's father.

"Hello Ms Mackenzie,"she answered "Aren't you going to introduce us?" she nodded towards Harm obviously a little bit taken with him.

"Of course... Mrs. Jones this is Isabelle's father Commander Harmon Rabb. Harm this is Mrs. Jones, the mother of Isabelle's friend Sandra."

Harm reached out his hand and shook hands with Mrs. Jones. Mrs. Jones stayed around subtly and not so subtly trying to find out as much about Harm as she could. Harm and Mac would glance at each other at times thinking the exact same thing about Mrs. Jones. Mac was glad that Isabelle had such good friends like Sandra, but it was unfortunate that she wasn't choosing her friends after what their mothers were like at times.

The way Harm was handling it was definitely a compliment to him. Mac almost regretted going out here, but on the other hand this way soon the story would be known all over the place and added to that Mac and Jack's divorce, there was a good chance Mac alone with her family would be the most discussed topic at this place for quite some time. When Isabelle had been playing for a little over an hour and Mrs. Jones was still talking to Harm, Mac decided to put an end to Harm's misery.

"I think we better leave now, if I'm going to get dinner ready before your mother comes," Mac said and got up from her seat. She hoped that Harm would catch on and apparently he did because he got up as well.

"She's coming over here soon, right?"

"Yes, she is," Mac said and shouted towards the children "Belle, come on let's go." Isabelle looked like she was going to protest at first, but then came over to them.

"It was nice meeting you," Mrs. Jones said.

"It was nice meeting you too," Harm said not quite as sincerely as Mrs. Jones had been.

"Why are we leaving already?" Isabelle asked and sneaked each one of her hands into her parent's hands.

"We're... uh having dinner with Grandma Trish," Mac said starting to realize that she'd probably have to invite Trish over for dinner now. Not that it was really a problem and besides she still had to tell Trish about the separation and divorce.

"You didn't tell me Grandma..." Isabelle started saying and Mac and Harm started to walk off hoping that Mrs. Jones wouldn't get suspicious.

"So you kept your name? You're still a Mackenzie," Harm commented on the way home.

"Yes, I did. I guess I thought it would be kind of nice to have the same name as my daughter I guess," Mac smiled at him

* * *

An hour and a half later they were sitting down to have dinner on the porch outside the house. Trish had been delighted to come and had laughed for a few minutes about the reason for the sudden invite.

The four of them, Frank had been forced to return to California on business earlier the same day, were having a nice time together. Trish asked where Jack was and Mac had told him that he was working. Just a few minutes after that Jack walked into the house.

"Dad," Isabelle sprung up from the table and ran towards the door. Not much later she returned together with Jack.

"'Evening," he said.

"Hey," Mac said for some reason feeling awkward. "Do you... would you like some dinner? I'll go and get a plate for you." She started to get up, but stopped when Jack told her he had already eaten.

"Oh," was all Mac could get out.

"But aren't you going to come and sit down here with us?" Trish asked wondering what was wrong here.

"I still have some work to do..." Jack said "I'll just get to that." He turned around and walked out.

Trish looked at Mac with many questions displayed in her face. Isabelle looked like she was going to start to cry any second. The dinner continued in silence and was very soon brought to an end. Mac encouraged Isabelle to show her father some of the drawings she had made in school last year and Mac and Trish went to the kitchen to clean up after dinner.

"Does Jack think it's tough that Harm's back?" Trish asked not sure what to believe about the way they had acted around each other.

"No. it's not that. It's..." Mac took a deep breath in. This was hard. Trish was like the mother she had never had and telling her that she had failed in her marriage wasn't easy at all. "Jack and I are getting a divorce. He's going to move out when we're up in Belleville."

"He's leaving you?" Trish seemed to be in shock.

"We're leaving each other..."

"Are you sure... Have you thought this through? You've always seemed so happy together, so..."

"Trish, we're not taking this lightly and we've tried everything we could to find a way to stay together, but... we just can't."

"Poor Isabelle. Does she know? This must be so awful for her. Are you sure that this is going to be the best for all of you?" The questions came rolling off her tongue rapidly. Trish was rather shaken up by this.

"Trish, I know that this is going to be hard for her, but so would having a mother and stepfather who were completely unhappy with each other be," Mac tried to explain patiently, but she felt that everything that was happening around her was starting to become too much for her. Being a mom had made her able to control herself and her emotions a lot more than she could before, but she wasn't sure if it was going to be enough and she didn't want to take anything out on Trish that she really had done nothing to deserve.

Luckily Harm chose to return at this time carrying a very sleepy girl.

"I think there's somebody here who needs to get to bed."

"It sure looks like that," Mac agreed. "You want to help me tuck her in?"

"I'd love to," Harm answered. Mac and Trish were finished with the dishes and while Mac, Harm and Isabelle went upstairs to brush Isabelle's teeth and get her to bed. Trish went in search of Jack to see if she'd have more luck convincing him that they were rushing things with the divorce. Half an hour later Harm and Trish left the house together, Harm filled with the joy that spending time with his daughter was bringing him and Trish sad that she hadn't seemed to get through to neither Mac nor Jack about the mistake that she thought they were making.

**TBC**


	10. Part 10

**Part 10 **

"You've become a really careful driver," Mac said. They were in Mac's car on the way to Grandma Sarah's farm. Harm had come over early in the morning and together they had packed everything into the car together and driven off hoping to get there well in time. Harm had won their usual discussion about who should drive by stating he had 8 years of not driving to make up for. Isabelle had fallen asleep early on so the trip would go fast for her.

"We carry precious cargo," Harm simply said and smiled at Mac.

"Yes, we do," Mac smiled back "But that doesn't mean you have to drive like my aunt Bertha."

"Hey, be nice," Harm protested, but he was laughing just like Mac.

"Mom left yesterday evening," Harm said a few minutes later.

"I know."

"Are you two OK?"

"Yes, I think we are. I mean I thinks she thinks me and Jack should stay together at least for Belle's sake."

"That's sort of what I got from her too," Harm said. "I talked to her about it when I drove her to the airport yesterday. I told her that if she didn't believe that you'd do anything to keep Isabelle happy, she didn't know you really well at all. I think she realized that too."

"I can't really blame her... Sometimes I wonder if this is the right thing to do. I'm not sure that I'll be happier without Jack. He's a good man and..."

"Well, there's still six months until the divorce is final, so if you figure things out between the two of you, you can try again. I guess there's a reason why they have that 6 months waiting period," Harm remarked.

"I'm sorry, Harm," Mac said and looked apologetic at him "I didn't mean to drag you into this. I mean there must be more interesting things for you to talk about then my broken marriage."

"Mac, that's what friends are for and I hope that that's what we still are... or can rebuild. To be honest though, I'm a little surprised with your insecurities about this. You seemed really sure when you told me about it."

"I was... and am, in a way. I guess I'm just having cold feet, I guess you can get that both when you're getting into a marriage and out of it. I'll get over it."

Harm smiled encouragingly at her. They were silent for a while.

"Can I ask you something?" Harm asked her minutes later.

"Sure."

"How come you and Jack never had children?"

"Well, we tried... but it never happened," Mac shrugged. Harm could see that this was something that had caused her a lot of pain. The truth was that it had caused both her and Jack more pain than they could have imagined before. They had started trying early on in the marriage and it was when it turned out to not be as easy as they might have thought it would be, that the problems in their marriage had started.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring it up." He tentatively reached out his hand to find hers and gently held it.

"No it's..." Mac couldn't bring herself to say that it was OK, but instead she added "I guess it just wasn't meant to be."

Mac was looking out the window. After a while she turned back to Harm. She was rather surprised when she realized that he was still covering her hand with his.

"I'm really glad that I don't have to go up here alone with Belle," Mac said.

"Is Jack not coming because of..." Harm didn't finish the sentence.

"Well, no. We couldn't get leave at the same time and I'd like to spend as much time up here as possible with Belle, so we decided that I should go alone with her. Anyway now with the separation I guess it was for the best."

* * *

Shortly after lunch they drove up in front of Grandma Sarah's house. They got out of the car and stretched their legs. Isabelle had woken up a few hours ago and had asked every second minute how far there was still to go.

Harm looked around. He could see a few changes, like the fact that the barn had been repainted in a slightly different shade of red, but almost everything was the same. A nice surprise considering how different everything else had been after his return.

They got all of their packing together and walked into the house. It smelled a little stuffy inside so the first thing Mac did was to open up a few windows and let the wind blow through the house. Last time they'd been here was at Easter time and you could tell that from the dust layer on the floor and the furniture.

Isabelle ran upstairs with her bag, put it in her room and ran back downstairs.

"Mom, are we going to go and look at the animals now? I want to see the new lambs."

"We need to clean up here first."

"But I want..."

"It's not up for discussion. If you help it will be faster, because we're not going down there before everything is done here," Mac firmly said and her daughter knew from the tone of her voice that there was no idea to argue against it. Still a little bit pouting she decided that the best course of action would be to actually help. Together the three of them cleaned and dusted and after two hours they were done, exhausted and hungry.

They had sat down on the porch in front of the house to rest a little while and were eating bananas to stop the immediate hunger. Isabelle was still very excited about the animals and after sitting still for no longer than thirty seconds she got up and started working on making her parents move as well and come with her. It took a while until she was entirely successful. Harm was especially tired and wasn't ready to get going just yet. The drive had been more exhausting then he had thought it would be.

They walked over to the farm where the Bensons lived. Aside from the land that belonged to their own farm, they were renting the land that belonged to Grandma Sarah's house and were also helping Mac to check up on the house now that Sarah wasn't living there anymore. Sarah had left the house to Mac and Isabelle in her will.

The Bensons were surprised to see them. They had seen the news report about Harm's return and had thought that Mac and Isabelle weren't going to come because of that. It was a quick visit inside and then they went outside with Mr. Benson who showed a very enthusiastic Isabelle the new little lambs that were just a little over a week old. Eventually they left to go home and have dinner. Mrs. Benson had invited them over for dinner the next day and they had promised to come.

Back at the house Mac convinced a not too resistant Harm to go and lie down for a while, while she made dinner for them. She could see that he was thoroughly exhausted. Isabelle went outside to pick some flowers and Mac started putting on a bowl of water to cook some spaghettis in. She remembered that they still hadn't put any sheets in the beds and wasn't sure that Harm knew where to find them so she went to get some from the linen closet and went up to the room where Harm was staying. She knocked on the door and walked straight in. The vision she was met by made her drop everything she was holding in her hands and put them over her mouth not to scream out.

**TBC**


	11. Part 11

**AN: **Hey everyone, thanks for being patient with me. I hope to get some more time soon ... Many thanks to everyone who's encouraged me to continue the story. Also many thank yous go to Cria for beta-reading the story.

**Part 11 **

Harm had decided to change his clothes and when Mac walked in he had just taken his shirt off and was standing with his bare back towards the door. The back was covered with scars of different sizes and shapes. Mac could see that some of them were old and some were rather new. It wasn't just on the back the upper parts of the arms were also covered with the same kind of scars. She now realized that until then Harm had been wearing long sleeves all the time despite the warm weather. It was surprising that she was able to think things like that, because the look on her face was just of complete shock.

He hurried to put his shirt back on and it hung loosely on his body. He turned around and looked at her.

"I'm so, so sorry, Harm," Mac said "I didn't mean to walk in on you like this." She bent down to pick up the things she had dropped on the floor.

They could hear something crashing on the floor downstairs and soon Isabelle shouted.

"Mom!"

Mac went over to the bed and put down the sheets on it "I'm sorry, Harm. I'm sorry."

Harm hadn't known what to say to her and still hadn't said anything when she backed out from the room.

45 minutes later Mac had taken care of Isabelle's accident with the vase for her flowers and made dinner. She went upstairs to get Harm, this time knocking carefully and just telling him through the door that dinner was now on the table.

There was a certain tension between Mac and Harm, but they tried their best not to let on to Isabelle. Once they were done with dinner, Isabelle sat down at the kitchen table with all of her pens and papers drawing many small lambs and their mothers. Harm insisted on cleaning up after dinner since Mac had cooked and practically shoved her out on the front porch.

Sitting there on the porch she was no longer able to hold the tears back. Tears rolled down her cheek for the sake of Harm, Isabelle and herself. She couldn't believe how naïve she had been thinking that it was the exact same Harm that they had gotten back. That he hadn't been seriously hurt both physically and mentally, but just kept from coming home to them. She didn't notice Harm coming out on the porch and sitting down on the bench beside her.

"Mac..." he slowly wrapped his arms around her and drew her nearer. She buried her face in his shoulder and he was also crying by now, making Mac's sweater wet.

"I'm so sorry, Harm. I'm sorry for letting them hurt you like that, for not going after you, for not... for not..."

"Hey. Hey," he backed away a little and held his hand on her face so they were looking straight into each other's eyes "I told you that the only thing that kept me alive and sane in that place was the fact that I knew that you were in safety and the one thing I was most worried about was not whether I would ever get out of there, it was that you actually would come after me and end up there as well. And now with Isabelle... I don't even want to think about it."

Mac just shook her head. She had had this conversation so many times with Sturgis. When she had found out about Harm being missing, her first thought had been to go there and do what ever she could to find him, but Sturgis, who at the time had been the only one knowing that she was pregnant, had stopped her correctly stating that Harm would want her to take care of the baby and herself and not to endanger their lives further for his sake. Mac had at the time logically understood that Sturgis was right and complied with him, but every now and then she'd start thinking that she had made the wrong decision not going after him.

Harm nodded his head "Having you and Isabelle safe is all that matters to me," He paused slightly "Mac, you told me not to think about the past, but enjoy what we have now. Our beautiful, precious daughter is inside there and she needs us to get through this somehow. I don't know how, but I think that if we try and work together like we used to. Like best friends. Then we can get through it."

Now Mac was nodding as well. They once again embraced and held on even tighter to each other then they had done before.

"Mom?" Isabelle had come out to the porch.

"Hey Belle," Mac broke lose. She was glad that the tears had dried now "You want to get to bed?"

"I guess," she answered and looked very confused at what she was seeing.

"Let's go and get cleaned up then." Mac got up from the bench, took Isabelle's hand and together they walked up to the bathroom to brush their teeth and change into their pajamas. Mac had realized that she was rather tired and had decided to go to bed as well. Harm remained sitting outside for a while thinking, but eventually he also went into the house and to bed.

* * *

At first Mac wasn't sure what it was that had woken her up, but she had a feeling that it was something she needed to check out. She got out of bed and walked out of the room. At first she headed towards Isabelle's room to check on her, but when she heard a scream coming from Harm's room, she realized that that must have been what woke her up. She walked over to the door and knocked.

"Harm, are you OK?" she asked, but didn't get an answer. He was still talking and screaming in a language that reminded her of Farsi, yet she only understood a word here and there. "I'm coming in," she said more to herself then to him.

**TBC**


	12. Part 12

**AN: **Sorry about the delay in postings. Hopefully it will get better soon, but I can't promise any postings for another week since I'm going away. After that though hoping, hoping, hoping … Great thanks to everyone who has sent feedback and reviews. You make me a better writer! Also Thank you Cria for betaing!

**Part 12 **

She slowly opened the door and found Harm throwing himself from side to side in the bed, still asleep and very tormented by a nightmare. She walked up to the bed and sat down on the side.

"Harm, wake up. It's just a dream. You're home now. No one can hurt you here," She repeated those sentences and others like them over and over again and at the same time she stroke her hands over his face and hair. Slowly he was calming down and starting to wake up.

He looked at her in confusion like he thought she was just a trick his mind was playing him.

"Everything's OK, now. The people who did those awful things to you are very far away and they can't get you here. You're here with Isabelle and me, where you belong," Mac continued to comfort him. The name of his daughter was the final thing that brought him back to the real world.

"Did I wake you? I'm sorry," Harm said. As soon as he was finished talking a loud crack was heard, a flash lightened up the night sky and the rain started pouring down. They both flinched at that and looked out through the window. Loud thunder was heard again and soon after that they heard the squeaking of the door to Isabelle's room being opened and Mac got up from the bed and walked over to the doorpost.

"Belle, did the thunder wake you up?" she asked and soon Isabelle came running into her arms.

"Mom, I'm scared," she said into her shoulder.

"There's nothing to be afraid of. We're perfectly safe in here, honey." Mac lifted her up and walked back into Harm's room. He was now sitting on the bed, where Mac had just sat.

"What do you both say to going downstairs and having some hot cocoa? I think all three of us need that right now."

Isabelle looked up and her and smiled, but the smile soon faded when a new crack of thunder was heard. Mac held on a little tighter to her and looked over at Harm to see if he would come as well. He had already gotten up from the bed and walked towards them. Together they walked downstairs. Mac led the way into the living room and sat Isabelle down in front of the fireplace.

"Hold on a second," Mac asked the two of them and disappeared into the kitchen. Soon she returned with milk, cocoa, marshmallows and some other supplies. In the meantime Harm had gotten together all of the cushions and blankets that were lying all around the room. When Mac entered the room he had just started to get the fire going. On top of the fireplace there was a cooking plate where they could make the cocoa. It didn't take long until they could settle down on the floor with blankets wrapped around them and cups of hot cocoa in their hands. Isabelle felt a lot better now sitting securely between her parents.

"Mom, why were you in Harm's room?" she suddenly asked.

"Well, because …" Mac didn't know what to tell her. She wanted Harm to be allowed to decide himself if they was going to tell her that he had had a nightmare.

"I was having a nightmare and I woke Mac up. So she came and woke me up so I didn't have to have it any longer," Harm explained.

"Oh," Isabelle said "I didn't know adults can have nightmares too."

"I have nightmares sometimes," Mac said.

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Does Dad wake you up then?" Isabelle continued to ask.

"Yes, sometimes."

"But who's going to do that now?"

Mac smiled "I guess I'll have to wake myself up. You know before I had you I lived alone and besides I almost never have any nightmares when I know that you're sleeping safely in your room."

"Good," Isabelle seemed relieved.

Now and then they could still hear the thunder and see flashes through the window, but the thunderstorm was calming down and moving away. Isabelle was starting to doze off, but Harm and Mac were still wide awake, watching the fire and at times looking down on their daughter who was now lying between them using her mothers lap as a cushion. Mac was occasionally stroking her hand through Isabelle's long, brown hair.

"Have you gotten to talk to someone? I mean about what happened over there," Mac finally spoke.

"Yes, well sort of … I had to talk to a psychiatrist after I had that debriefing, but I'm not so sure that it helped a whole lot. He simply wrote me off as no danger to myself or others and I was free to go."

"Do you think maybe you should go and talk to someone? For real you know."

"I haven't really thought about it, but I guess I should. Just don't know with whom."

"Harm, I … You're always welcome to talk to me. But maybe you'd rather talk to someone else, I just … I just want you to know that I'm there for you if you need me," Mac looked at him intensely, but also kept an eye on Isabelle to make sure that she was still asleep.

"I guess I'm just not so sure that talking about it would help. I just want to forget that those things happened. I try so hard to do that, but I'm always reminded of it," Harm closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Mac brought her hand over to stroke him over his hair and down his cheek. He opened his eyes and simply on instinct started talking. "At times things were really intense there. They kept asking me these questions that I didn't have the answer too. They thought they could torture me into answering, but I couldn't tell them what they wanted to hear."

"Harm," she sighed and her fingers kept contact with his face and hair as support.

"Then at times they'd leave me completely alone. If it wasn't for the food that was put into the room when I was sleeping I would have thought they had completely forgotten about me. For months I wouldn't see a single soul and then one day it would start all over again," Harm had kept looking into the fire as he was talking but now he turned his face to look straight into Mac's eyes. There was no pity there meeting him, yet it was one of the strongest emotions he had ever seen reflected in anyone's eyes. It was like he could touch the pain she was feeling. Like she had been there right beside him going through the exact same thing.

"Mac, if there's anyone I can talk about this with, it's you," he moved his hand up to touch her face the same way hers was touching his. Isabelle stirred a little and that caught both of her parent's attention. She didn't wake up though.

"I've been thinking about what to do when we go back to DC," Harm said and looked down on Isabelle.

"Yes?"

"After the debrief I also had a discussion about my career and future. I have the possibility to go back to JAG HQ. They said the JAG wants me back if I want to. But I can also retire if I want to. I have by 20 years in the service. They didn't need an answer just yet and I have three months of recovering before I'm allowed back anyway if I choose to do so."

"Of course the JAG wants you back," Mac smiled understanding that Harm didn't know who the current JAG was. "But what do you want?"

"I think I'm going back to JAG. There are so many new things going on here, I'm not sure if retiring and start doing something different is something I should add to that list. For now that seems to be the best option."

"I can understand that, maybe better than you think," Mac smiled at him. "I went back to work just six weeks after Belle was born. I was still at JAG then and Admiral Chegwidden would have let me take out more leave if I'd wanted to, but I had to go back to work and have something to occupy my head with. So I didn't have so much time to think. Something I knew from before."

"Work wasn't really what I wanted to talk to you about," Harm said and Mac wasn't very surprised "I know that Isabelle is with a sitter or Harriet during the days when you're working now that she isn't in school."

"Yeah," Mac nodded.

"Well, I want to ask you if she could be with me instead," he stopped when he saw the fear that was all over Mac's face. "Oh no, Mac," he realized what she thought he was saying "I didn't mean that she would come and live with me, I don't want to take her away from you. I'd never do that. Not to you and not to her. You're her mother and I'm practically a stranger." Harm was almost stumbling on the words.

"I'm sorry, Harm, I didn't mean to think …" Mac said. "Please explain what you had in mind."

Harm smiled at her and started talking again "Well, I thought instead of you taking her over to the sitter I'd come over to your house and stay there with Isabelle the whole day. I just really want to get to know her so that I can be her real parent, her real father. I don't want to be a weekend Dad and I think this could be a good start for us. I don't know what to do after these three months. As I said I don't intend to take her away from you in that way. I want her to have one home. I just really want to get to know her. To see her everyday," Harm would have continued forever trying to plead his case if Mac hadn't stopped him.

"Harm, you had me convinced at the first sentence. After I realized what you were actually saying. I think it's a wonderful idea. And what we should do afterwards, I guess we'll have to figure out at a later date."

Harm sighed in relief. They both turned back to look at the fire that was now slowly dying down. Even though they knew that they probably should be getting up and off to bed again, they were both unwilling to leave this calm togetherness and stayed there until the fire was long gone and they had both drifted off to sleep.

**TBC**


	13. Part 13

**Part 13 **

Mac was woken up by bird's singing, which managed to come through the closed windows. She opened her eyes and started to become aware of where and with whom she was. She raised her head and realized that it had been resting against Harm with his arm still wrapped around her. Between the two of them Isabelle was lying sleeping. Slowly Harm was starting to wake up as well.

"Hey," Mac said. It was a rather awkward situation somehow. Even though Mac had raised her head up she was still lying very close to Harm and he was missing the warmth her head had provided on his chest.

"Good morning."

"Sleep well?" She didn't know why she didn't get up from the awkward position, maybe it just felt a little bit too good.

"Yeah. Or well, at least I think so before I've started moving. Have a feeling I'm a bit stiff."

"Yeah, me too."

Their voices had by now also woken Isabelle up.

"I'm hungry," was her first words as she yawned and stretched out her body.

"So am I," Mac agreed and now she did get up from the floor. "Let's go and see if we can find something to eat."

They walked out to the kitchen, but Harm remained lying on the floor. Mac got out the things that she and Isabelle would normally eat for breakfast and took them out to the porch where they would have it. When Harm still hadn't showed up, Mac went back into the living room where Harm was still lying with his eyes closed, smiling like he was thinking about something very pleasant.

"You need some help getting off the floor, old man?"

"Very funny," Harm now really did get off the floor. Not very fast, but neither had Mac ten minutes earlier.

"We're having breakfast out on the porch," Mac said and this time Harm followed her first out to the kitchen to get some breakfast and then they joined Isabelle out on the porch.

"Can we go swimming now?" Isabelle asked when she had just stuffed herself with the last of her sandwich.

"We have to wait a while after eating," Mac said. "But I think it sounds like a good idea. Today seems to be a great day." Except for the still wet ground and some puddles of water in front of the house, nothing seemed to be left of the thunderstorm that hat blown over the house the same night. The sun was shining and the sky was clear blue.

"Are you coming too, Harm?"

"I ,,, I don't have any swimming trunks with me," Harm said and though it was true it was more like a convenient excuse than the real reason he was unwilling. "But I could still come with you."

Isabelle got up and ran back into the house. She came back with a rather funny looking pink swimming trunks and gave them to Harm.

"You can wear these. They're Grandpa's, but I picked them out for him."

Mac laughed and Harm couldn't help joining in.

"Don't look at me," Mac said when Harm looked at her for a good answer to give the little girl.

"OK, OK, I'll come with you and I'll even go into the water."

An hour later they were making their way through the woods towards the lake where all three of them had gone swimming before, but this was the first time they were doing it together. They were wearing their bathing suites under their clothes and as soon as they got to the little clearing in front of the lake, Isabelle started taking off her clothes and running into the water. After Mac had unloaded the things she had been carrying she also started taking off her clothes and preparing to go into the water. Harm was just slowly spreading out the blankets and towels on the ground.

Mac had stopped moving and just stood there and looked at him.

"Harm, I know this is hard for you, but it will be OK. Really it will." She had correctly guessed that he was scared of taking off his shirt and showing Isabelle what his back looked like. Mac's reaction to it yesterday certainly hadn't helped either. She realized that too.

Harm had been looking down, but now his eyes slowly traveled up her body until they rested on her face. The sight of her not so covered body made his body react in a way, that convinced him that getting into the cold water was the only option anyway. When Mac saw that he had started undressing she wanted to give him some privacy and followed Isabelle into the water. Isabelle was standing with the water up to her knees and had almost started to shake from the cold.

Mac ran past her and that splashed water up on her. Isabelle then followed her a little further into the water and started using her arms as much as she possibly could to splash water on her mother. Mac retaliated and turned around to do the same thing. They were soon both completely drenched even though the water just went up to the middle of Isabelle's thigh.

Harm couldn't help laughing at the sight of the two of them waving their hands around in the water like their life depended on it. He ran into the water and past them where as soon as he could he dived into the water and took a few swimming strokes. It felt great to be in the water. When he had run past them Isabelle forgot about the water fight with her mother and started swimming after her father. Mac followed as well.

"I'm glad you convinced me," Harm said to both of them. He had stopped swimming, but since they were at a dept where not even he could reach the bottom, he was still paddling his feet "This is wonderful."

"Yeah," Mac agreed.

They continued to play in the water until Isabelle was shaking from the cold and Mac could finally convince her to come to the land at least for a little while.

Isabelle wrapped herself in the towel and sat down on the blanket. Mac lay down on her towel, her back facing up. She wanted to catch some sun if it was possible. Harm lay down on his back and looked up on the sky.

"Why do you have those marks on your arms and back?" Isabelle asked looking at Harm. Mac turned her head so that she had them both in view in case Harm would need some help with her rather inquisitive daughter.

"When I was away there were some people that hurt me and these marks are scars after that," Harm said and sat up to face her.

"Oh, does it still hurt?"

"Only some of them," Harm answered deciding that he wasn't going to lie about that to either Mac or Isabelle. Isabelle moved a little closer and bent her head over to kiss one of the big ones on his right arm.

"Feel better?"

"Yes, much better," Harm said and that was very much the truth.

Isabelle got up and picked up her butterfly net. She had caught sight of an orange butterfly flying close to the edge of the woods.

"Don't go further than you can see us and we can see you, OK?" Mac said.

"'K."

"So how did I handle that?" Harm asked Mac and she looked a little guilty.

"Perfect." She smiled at him and he smiled back. He had taken his towel and wrapped it around his arms remember something the doctor had said to him during his medical evaluation.

"Is there anything you can do to make them better?" Mac said seeing that he was trying to protect the scars from the sun.

"Not really other than keeping those parts out of the sun."

Mac raised her eyebrows sensing that he was hiding something.

"Well, I got this ointment to put on that will help with the healing, but it's rather hard to put it on your own back."

"All you have to do is ask me, Harm," Mac said and looked at him sincerely.

Harm nodded and smiled deciding that he was going to do just that.

-------------------------------

That evening the three of them returned home from the Bensons completely stuffed. They'd had a wonderful time there and Mr. Benson had taken Isabelle out to the lambs and let her help him making sure they had all they needed for the night, so she was even more thrilled. It wouldn't take much to get her into bed tonight, that was for sure. After having made sure Isabelle had brushed her teeth and gotten into bed, Mac went out to sit on the porch. It was her favorite place of the whole house. Especially sitting here when the house was calm and watch the sun setting in the distance.

She soon heard the squeaking of the door being opened and Harm appeared on the porch as well.

"Hey," Mac said and glanced sideways at him, but her eyes went back to watching the beautiful sunset.

"Hey," Harm remained standing watching Mac and she got very self-conscious and looked back at him and saw the ointment jar in his hand.

"Do you …?" Mac started asking.

**TBC**


	14. Part 14

**AN: **A thousand thanks to everyone who's sent a review or an e-mail of encouragement to me. It means a lot! And thanks for putting up with me and my slow posts. Many thank yous to Cria for betaing!

**Part 14 **

"Only if you want to…" Harm said before she had finished. "I mean you don't have to if you don't want to. You can say no."

"Sit down here," Mac said and got up from the stool. She put it out a bit further from the wall so that she could stand behind it. Harm sat down and started to unbutton his shirt. When it was open in the front Mac helped him to get it off. She had read the few instructions on the jar and had taken out as much of the ointment that would be needed. You had to massage it in. She started slowly spreading the ointment out on his back and arms.

"You'll tell me if it hurts, right?"

"Yeah."

Mac continued to move her hands all over the scared area until the ointment had been completely drawn into the skin. A few times she could sense him tensing up a bit and then she tried to be even more careful with those areas. When she was finished though, they were both a lot more relaxed then they had been before.

"Does it feel better?" Mac asked. They had both been completely silent during the whole time.

"Yes, it does. Thank you, Mac."

"Not a problem at all," Mac said and had problems hiding how much she really had enjoyed the treatment herself.

* * *

The rest of the week in Belleville was spent relaxing and enjoying each other's company. They invited the Bensons over for dinner one night and went swimming almost everyday. One day they went for a long walk into the forest. Every night after Isabelle had gone to bed, Harm and Mac spent out on the porch talking about everything between heaven and earth. Mac also continued to help Harm massaging in the ointment on his back and arms. After only a week there were already results to see from the treatment, but they probably would have continued doing it even if it wasn't actually helping. They both enjoyed the physical closeness so much.

The last day of their stay all three of them had helped packing everything together and into the car. When they locked up the house there was a powerful sadness that came over them all. None of them wanted to leave, but they had to because Mac had to be back at work the day after tomorrow and she needed that extra day at home.

Isabelle had been thrilled when they had told her that she was going to spend the rest of the summer together with her father and not at the sitter's. Mac had called the sitter and explained that Isabelle wasn't going to come back for a while. She hadn't been quite as thrilled.

After hours of driving, they were finally home. By that time it was already late in the evening and Isabelle had already fallen asleep. Mac and Harm got her into the house and undressed without really waking her up and then they carried everything into the house. When they were standing in the middle of the hallway that was full of their luggage and both were taking off their shoes, was the first time they both realized that they had also taken Harm's bags into the house and he wasn't supposed to stay there. He still had his hotel room. They both realized it at the same time and started to laugh.

"You know Harm we do have a guestroom and Isabelle would be thrilled if you stayed here. So if you want to, and only then, you can stay here until you find a real place to live and not just a hotel room," Mac said after she had started to calm down a bit.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, but as I said only if you want."

"Well, I do want to. Honestly!"

"Then it's a deal," Mac said and reached out her hand, which Harm firmly took and shook firmly.

"It's a deal."

**TBC**


	15. Part 15

**Part 15 **

"'Morning," Jack stood in the doorpost to the kitchen. It was the day after Mac, Harm and Isabelle had returned from Belleville. Jack was there to see Isabelle.

Mac flinched and looked up on him. She hadn't heard him come in and she was a bit irritated that he had just walked in using his key. Isabelle who had been standing beside her looked up delighted and ran into his open arms.

"Dad, I missed you," she said happily as she was wrapped in his arms.

"I missed you too, honey."

"And we had so much fun and the lambs were so cute and there were new kittens too and then we went bathing and hiked into the woods …" Isabelle continued to babble, but Jack's concentration went away from her and onto Harm who had just walked into the room, his hair still wet from the shower.

"Daad, you're not listening!" Isabelle accused Jack.

"Sorry, honey," he said, but instead of continuing to listen to Isabelle he looked at Harm "You stayed here tonight?"

"Yeah and Harm's going to stay here until he gets his apartment back, isn't that so cool?" Isabelle exclaimed before Harm had a chance to say anything.

"Oh, really?" Jack said and looked at Mac who nodded in response.

"Can I talk to you outside?" Jack said to Mac and let go of Isabelle.

"Breakfast is ready, why don't you two get started?" Mac told Isabelle and Harm and followed Jack out to the hallway. When she exited the kitchen she closed the door, but it didn't keep as much sound out as they thought it did.

"He's moving in to our house and you don't even bother to tell me first," Jack said.

"It was sort of decided yesterday so I hadn't had the chance to tell you, but I was going to."

"You know, this house is still half mine, so don't you think that I get a say in who lives here or not. Or are you so caught up in playing house with Harm that you forgot that we're still married"

"No, I haven't forgotten, but I honestly didn't think you'd mind. Maybe I was foolish to think that you actually loved my daughter and would want what's best for her," Mac had tried really not to get agitated, but her control was really starting to slip.

"Don't bring Isabelle into this."

In the kitchen Harm and Isabelle were eating breakfast or rather pretending that they were eating. They weren't looking at each other, just pretending that they weren't hearing what Mac and Jack were saying.

"So then explain to me why you have a problem with this," Mac said.

"Well, don't you think it's a little weird that we've hardly been separated a week and already you're having another man move in here?"

"No, not considering …"

"I guess even if we hadn't already decided on the divorce, it would just have been a matter of time until you'd want one now that the man of your dreams is back."

Mac had to use all the restrain that she could muster not to slap him.

"Not that it's any of your business, but Harm's staying in the guestroom. That should be a room you're very familiar with."

"What do you mean it's none of my business? Of course it's my business. You're my wife!"

"I think it's time for you to go now. And next time you come, you knock and wait until one of us opens the door."

Jack just turned around and stalked out of the house. Mac took a few deep breaths before she returned into the kitchen. There Harm and Isabelle sat looking down on their plates and Mac realized that she and Jack hadn't been as quiet as she had thought. She sat down at the table and started spreading butter on a sandwich. Isabelle got up and brought her plate and glass over to the dishwasher, before disappearing to her room.

"Belle, I'm …" Mac said, but Isabelle kept walking. She got up and followed her daughter upstairs. In the meantime Harm started putting away the dishes.

Half an hour later Mac returned to the kitchen. Isabelle was still in her room, but she was doing better now after Mac had talked to her. At least Mac thought she was.

"Harm, I'm sorry about that. Jack and I have a way of pushing each other's buttons, but I should have been able to control myself better because of Isabelle and you."

"You don't need to apologize to me, Mac. I remember that we used to be like that as well."

"I guess we did."

"But I'm still thinking that maybe it's not such a great idea for me to move in here. Considering …"

"Oh Harm. Of course … I don't want …" Mac couldn't decide what to say "Whether you live here or not is of course up to you, but if you decide not to it shouldn't be because of what you heard Jack and me say. When he has calmed down he'll call and we'll talk it out. I just think Jack was a little bit shocked to see you here. He seems to be a bit scared that you're taking his place in our life."

"But I'm not trying to …" Harm protested.

"No, you're not. You are taking your place in our life," Mac said and smiled brightly at him.

"I'm glad I have one. In both of your lives," Harm smiled back at her just as brightly.

Mac was silent, but before Harm left the room to go and unpack his things, she stopped him.

"Harm, I think we had a wonderful time in Belleville. I really had a lot of fun spending time together with you," she paused "I mean I'm of course glad that you came along for Belle's sake and I'm so happy that you're here, but I didn't expect it to be like that with us. I didn't think it would be possible for us to be friends again, after everything that has happened."

"Mac, I … I love spending time with you. I always have," Harm confessed and the confession, though maybe not the words so much as the way in which it was expressed, left Mac speechless.

**TBC**


	16. Part 16

**AN: **Many thanks to everyone who keeps sending feedback and encouragement to me. It means a lot to me. Here's an extra long part to everyone who's been waiting patiently (and unpatiently) for another part.

**Part 16 **

Mac closed her eyes and took a deep breath in before she could open them and look at him.

"Me too, Harm." Her voice was just a whisper and it felt like all she could get out were those three little words. She gathered herself and once again said it, this time louder. "Me too." She wondered if she'd ever be able to tell him what he had meant to her back then, what feelings she had had for him.

She slowly walked out of the room. She had to take out the first round of laundry from the machine and put on the second one. There were lots of things she needed to do today, to prepare for the coming week. She tried her best to focus on those things, but it was something she could not possibly succeed in.

Together she and Harm spent most of the morning cleaning, unpacking and doing laundry. Harm called the people who were renting his apartment and decided with them on a day they'd move out.

A few hours after Jack had left the house the phone rang and Mac answered it. Harm tried not to listen in on the conversation, but he couldn't help hearing some things and through that understanding that it was Jack on the other end and that they had decided to meet tomorrow and talk about their fight. A few minutes later Mac came back to the living room where they were sorting socks together in pairs and told him that as well.

By lunchtime they heated up some left-overs that had been in the freezer and after lunch Harm and Mac went grocery shopping leaving Isabelle to play at Sandra's house.

"'Morning," Harm said as he walked into the kitchen the next day. Mac was sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in one hand and the newspaper in the other.

"Hey. Did I wake you? I tried to be quiet so that you and Belle could sleep in."

"You didn't wake me," Harm said and smiled. "It's a nice day," he said and looked out through the open window. A warm breeze came blowing in through it.

"Yeah, it is," Mac said and looked out through the window as well. "There's still coffee in the pot, if you'd like."

"Yeah." Harm walked over to the counter and poured himself a cup, before sitting down at the kitchen table. Mac folded the paper together when Harm joined her at the table.

"So do you have any plans for today?" Mac asked him.

"Not yet. I thought I'd discuss it a little with Belle first."

"I'll leave the car here in case you need it."

"But how are you going to get to work then?"

"I'll ride with one of my colleagues. He lives maybe 10 minutes away from here and said he could come and pick me up."

"OK," Harm said thoughtfully.

Mac looked at her watch. "I better get going now. I'll see you tonight. Will you say 'Good morning' to Belle from me?"

"Yeah, sure I will. Have a nice day!" Harm waved goodbye to her.

* * *

"Hello! Belle! Harm,!" Mac shouted into the house when she the same evening finally walked into the house. Like always when she had been away for a while from her office, she had come back to find it in a state of total chaos. It would take a while until she'd get everything back into order.

She was in charge of making sure that the education and training that the marines got from the instructors in her division of the school upheld the good standard that was needed. A big part of her job was to go around and oversee the different classes and also a lot of administrative work, but sometimes she still got to be 'just' an instructor too. That was what she had been when she was first transferred to Quantico and soon she had realized that teaching and instructing the younger marines were something really close to her heart. She had started to really love her job. Her job at JAG had become a dead-end after she had had Isabelle and luckily been allowed to cut down on the excessive traveling. Without the travels and high-profile cases that came with them, there was no way she could advance anymore, the opposite was more likely.

With her change of career she had been able to finally be promoted to a full-bird Colonel two years ago and that was also when she became in charge of her division. When she is now sometimes forced to focus a lot of her time on administrative assignments she misses the teaching, but she still knows she's an important part of those people's education and that makes her feel good about what she is doing. Especially when she sees how much some of the marines develop during their time in the classes.

Mac kicked off her shoes and put them up on the shoe shelf. She realized that there was a scent of food coming from the kitchen and couldn't believe her luck if it meant that dinner was already on the table or at least close to be.

"Hey Mac, we're in the kitchen," Harm shouted back.

Mac came walking into the kitchen and Isabelle ran over to give her a big hug.

"Hey honey. Did you have a nice day?"

"Oh, yeah. We went to the park and I rode my bike and Harm jogged. Harm was really slow and then it sounded like when Mary in my class gets one of her asthma attacks," Isabelle told her and giggled at that.

"Overdoing it a bit?" Mac looked at Harm with laughter in her eyes that soon spread to her mouth. She did that sometimes too, ran beside Isabelle when she was riding her bike. The problem was, Isabelle liked to go as fast as she possibly could and after a while it was hard to keep up with. Mac could only imagine what it would be like for Harm, who hadn't been able to work out in a really long while.

"Do you two want dinner or not?" Harm said and looked at them both with a look that could kill.

Both Mac and Isabelle stopped laughing at once and at that Harm couldn't keep his smile hidden. Together they carried the food out to the table on the porch, which Isabelle had already set. Harm asked Mac about her day and she told him about it, Harm and Isabelle told her about theirs.

When they were finished with dinner and had cleaned up, Mac turned to Isabelle.

"I think we better get back to our evening-routine," she said.

"Oh, Mom. Can't we have vacation a few more days?"

"No, we can't keep putting it off, you know. Will you go and get the books?"

"Yeah, yeah," Isabelle said sounding not at all happy.

"What's that about?" Harm asked Mac.

"Belle isn't doing so well in school," Mac started.

"But she seems so …" Harm protested

"I know and she is really smart. It's just reading and writing that causes her some problems. It's not enough for her to be held back a class, but her teacher thought it would be good if we worked with it during the summer so that she doesn't fall further behind."

"Oh, OK, you'll let me know if there's anything I can do, won't you?"

"Sure," Mac said and turned to Isabelle who had returned downstairs. "You want to sit in the living room?" Isabelle nodded "Go ahead and I'll be right there. I just need to talk to Harm about something."

Isabelle went into the living room and Mac started talking quietly once the door was closed.

"I met with Jack today," Mac said, but Harm of course already knew about that.

"How did it go?"

"It went well. We talked about things. Just so you know he's perfectly fine with you living here. I apologized to him for not having cleared that with him at first and I'm sorry that I put you in an awkward situation as well," Mac said truly apologetic.

"It's OK, Mac. Besides I was there when it happened, so I know it was a really spontaneous decision to offer me to move in here."

"I guess it just felt right," Mac said and smiled warmly at him "Anyway Jack asked if Isabelle could come over to his apartment on Wednesday. He finishes work early then and she could spend the afternoon there and have dinner, before he drives her back here. I think it sounds like a good idea. It would be good for her to see where he lives now and that he isn't completely out of her life, but I also realize that you and me need to make those decisions together now," Mac paused and thought about how strange and at the same time how good it felt to be able to discuss things like these with Harm "So what do you think about that?"

Harm thought for a while. He realized that this wasn't just about this Wednesday, it was about Mac inviting him in to take a full part as a parent to his daughter and he didn't want to seem like he took it lightly. "I don't see any reason why I should have anything against it," he then said.

"Good," Mac smiled glad that they had agreed. When it came to Isabelle, she was used to deciding everything herself, but it felt really good to be able to talk to Harm and make decisions together with him. "Then I need to go and see if we'll get any further with that book."

Mac went into the living room where Isabelle had already started to write down the 10 words that she was going to learn how to spell this day. Harm followed her into the room and sat down on the armchair beside the couch where Isabelle and Mac sat together and picked up a magazine and started looking through it, although most of his focus was on what was going on around Isabelle's school books.

"Mom, you know what," Isabelle looked up a Mac "I wish I was really bad at drawing so that Mrs. Patrick had told you I had to practice that instead of this," she made a motion to the books.

"You mean you'd want to take all of those beautiful drawings that you've given me away," Mac said and looked seriously at her.

"No, but … I just wish that I was bad at something that I really liked so that it would be fun to work extra hard on those things."

"I guess that's a way to look at it," Mac paused "But let's get this over with."

They went back to looking at the books. Even though Isabelle was often rather unwilling to get to the work, Mac made the learning of new words a lot more fun and easier by creating games to do it and picked books that Isabelle loved for them to read together.

An hour or so later after having finished the next chapter of the book, Mac and Isabelle were done with the schoolwork for the day. Mac then told Isabelle that she could go and spend the afternoon the day after tomorrow together with Jack if she wanted to. Of course Isabelle was thrilled and she went to call Jack and make up a time where he'd come and pick her up.

* * *

The first work-week had past very fast for Mac. She had finally caught up with work at the office, much thanks to Harm being at the house and helping out with a lot of things. After he had learned about Isabelle's difficulties in school, he had taken over doing the assignments with her during the day. Mac missed sharing those hours with her daughter and hoped that it didn't have to mean that Harm had taken over that forever, but most of all she appreciated Harm wanting to do so much with Isabelle. Jack had often preferred to stay away from the tough parts of being a parent, like taking conflicts with her and making rules for her. He had never tried to undermine Mac's authority in doing it, but he had never taken an active part in it.

Harm had also helped her out a lot with everything else that had to be done around the house, so now instead of doing those chores, she'd been able to get some work done after Isabelle had gone to bed. She had thanked him for all of the help endless of times during the week and Harm was starting to get embarrassed about it thinking he hadn't really done all that much..

On Tuesday Sturgis had called and invited all three of them to come over for dinner the same Friday. They had accepted the invitation and now they were getting ready to go over there. Isabelle loved her uncle Sturgis and aunt Bobbie and was very excited about going over there.

The three of them got into the car and drove over. Harm had told Mac that he wanted to go and look at a new car for himself. He had yet to decide whether he was going to keep his Corvette. Mac had been surprised when she found out that he was even considering selling it.

They had only knocked once before the door to the large apartment in the middle of DC was opened. Sturgis greeted them and told them that Bobbie was cooking, but she had said that she was almost done and would join them in just a few minutes. They walked into the living room and Harm was rather surprised to see where Sturgis was now living. It was very different from where he had lived eight years ago.

"So did you enjoy your holiday?" Sturgis asked mostly Harm and Isabelle since he had already gotten Mac's version of it.

"Yes, it was nice to get away and I think we had a wonderful time together," Harm said and looked at Mac and Isabelle for confirmation. They both nodded in agreement.

"I wanted to stay there longer," Isabelle stated.

"I know you always do," Sturgis said and smiled. Sturgis had been up at the farm together with Mac, Isabelle and sometimes Jack several times before and knew first hand how much Isabelle enjoyed life up there.

"So is it true what I hear? Is Harmon Rabb back in town?" Bobbie's voice came from the door to the kitchen. Harm turned around and saw her rolling into the room. Even though he had known about Bobbie's accident, it was still in some ways a shock to see her in a wheelchair. "Don't I get a hug?" Bobbie asked.

"Of course you do," Harm was woken from his thoughts and walked over and bent down to hug her, before he let completely go of her she took the opportunity and kissed his cheek.

"It's good to have you back, you know," she said.

They continued to talk and laugh as they waited for the dinner to get ready in the oven. Harm realized that he thought less and less about the fact that Bobbie was now in a wheelchair. She was still very much her energetic pit bull-self. Bobbie and Sturgis seemed very happy together even though they weren't a very obvious couple. Maybe they were so good together simply because they didn't have that much in common on the surface.

After dinner Sturgis and Harm went into the very impressive kitchen, Harm stood in aw for several seconds just watching before he could get to work. They were going to fix some things for the dessert. Mac, Bobbie and Isabelle stayed in the living room and played a couple of games of cards.

"So you and Mac seem to get along well? I don't think I ever saw you get along this well for so long during the whole time I knew you together," Sturgis commented.

"Well, that was an unusual couple of months. There was so much going on and … well we weren't always like that."

"No, Mac's tried to explain that to me too," Sturgis said.

"You've talked about Mac's and my relationship with her?"

"Yeah," Sturgis said and shrugged. He didn't really want to get into that with Harm.

"It's a good think she had someone to talk to. She doesn't confide in other people that easily." Harm said and then he realized that Sturgis by now had known Mac longer than he had before he had gone missing and probably knew those things about Mac. It was strange considering the last time he had talked to Sturgis, Sturgis had been asking him for advice on how to handle Mac. Now it was more likely to be the other way around. "Most of all though I'm glad that Mac knew that I loved her even though I never said so," Harm said and sighed.

"What makes you think that?"

"That I was in love with her?"

"No … that she knows." Sturgis was quite surprised that Harm admitted to not just loving her, but also being in love with her as easily as that. If only Harm could have told Mac that before he went missing.

"Well, she said … that she knew that I would have been there for her and Belle and that she thought that we could have talked, worked things out between us and we could have been a family."

"You know that isn't exactly saying that she knew that you were in love with her," Sturgis said and since he was standing with his back towards the door, he didn't know that Mac had just been standing in the doorway to the kitchen.

**TBC**


	17. Part 17

**Part 17 **

Harm had just turned around and caught sight of Mac in the doorway. Mac hadn't entered the kitchen and instead turned around and disappeared somewhere else. Sturgis had noticed Harm staring at the doorway and turned around just to catch the last glimpse of Mac. Harm wasn't sure how much Mac had heard of the discussion and how much she had understood and if that had been the reason for her to walk away. It was also possible that she hadn't heard what they'd said, but just felt like she was interrupting a private conversation. He started to motion to go after her, but Sturgis stopped him.

"Harm," he grabbed his arm so he wouldn't disappear. "If," he stressed the little word "If you're going to talk to her about that, tell her what you sort of just told me, I think you should do it somewhere in private, especially without Isabelle, so you have a chance to really talk things through. Do you understand?" Sturgis had let go of his arm.

"You don't think I should tell her …" he was interrupted by the other Mackenzie who actually did walk into the kitchen.

"Uncle Sturgis, can we have the ice cream now?"

"Yep, can you carry the bowl of whipped cream with you out to the dining room?" Sturgis gave her the bowl. She left the kitchen and before Harm and Sturgis followed her Sturgis turned back to Harm "Be careful with Mac, Harm. I would hate to have to kick your butt," he said both deadly serious and jokingly.

"I'm glad she has you, Sturgis," Harm said completely serious.

"And I'm glad I have her," Sturgis paused "We've been there for each other through so much that it doesn't feel like we're just friends anymore. We're more like family. I guess you can say that we're like brother and sister."

Harm smiled, he thought about the time Mac had accused him of dancing with her like she was his sister. She had never been like a sister to him.

They enjoyed dessert and the nice atmosphere from earlier was kept up. Mac's behavior didn't let on to Harm if she had heard anything of his and Sturgis conversation. If she had, she didn't let on at all.

Isabelle was getting more and more tired and eventually fell asleep with her head resting in her mother's lap. Harm and Mac then decided to leave so she could be put to rest in her own bed.

Before they were out the door Sturgis gave Harm a heavy bag with books. Harm looked surprised at them wondering what it was all about.

"I want you to be up to speed when you get back to work. I put high standards on the people who serve under me. Especially the senior officers," Sturgis said and Harm looked into the bag and realized that those were law books.

"I thought we had decided on no shop talk, Sturgis," Bobbie said.

"So you're the JAG now?" Harm asked and looked at Mac wondering why she hadn't told him that before.

"I meant to tell you that, but it kind of slipped my mind," Mac said berating herself. She realized that it was probably rather hard for Harm to find out even more things that he had lost because of his absence. It probably wouldn't be long until Harm got promoted, but career wise he had still fallen far behind the people with whom he had used to be at an equal stage with.

On the way home Mac turned to Harm and asked him if he thought he was going to have a hard time serving under Sturgis considering he could have had that position if things had been different.

"At first it seemed a bit strange, but thinking about it now. You know, despite all I wouldn't want to have Sturgis life. I mean I'm sure he's happy with his life, it's just that even though I've only known Isabelle for a few weeks I couldn't imagine my life without her. I already missed so much and I don't want to miss any more time with here."

"I know I would never be able to combine that position with having children," Mac agreed with him.

Harm hoped that he would soon have a chance to talk to Mac about what she may or may not have heard earlier in the evening. He had decided to tell her how he had felt about her eight years ago, so that they could finally be on the same page about that.

**TBC**


	18. Part 18

**Part 18 **

For several weeks Harm didn't have the chance or at least he didn't take it to talk about his feelings with Mac. A lot of other things happened though. Harm surprised Mac by selling his Corvette and instead buying a car that was more suitable for the kind of father he was now. He also said that he had now decided that he would like to move to an apartment closer to where Mac and Isabelle lived instead of his own at Union Station. Before starting to look for something, he asked Mac if she was OK with him living close to them or if she felt that she needed more space. Mac was more than OK with it, she was very glad that he'd be in the neighborhood.

Neither one of them was really looking forward to the day that Harm would move out from Mac's house. They got along very well and whenever there was a problem or they didn't like something the other one had done, they were able to talk about it calmly like the adults they were and figure out a solution that would work for both of them. Harm having to adjust not only to life as a free man again, but also to being a father, and Mac at the same time having to adjust to not being a single parent could have caused many conflicts, but things went very smoothly.

Harm had called the couple that were living in his apartment and they were very glad to find out they could stay in the apartment. Now there was just the problem of Harm trying to find an apartment close to where Mac and Isabelle lived, but also in the right size for his needs. He'd decided that he wanted two bedrooms so that Isabelle could stay with him overnight even if the plan still was for her to continue to live full-time with Mac. After a month of searching through ads in the newspapers and trying with all the contacts, they had found an apartment that was acceptable. Mac had found out that her colleague, the one that lived only ten minutes away, was being stationed abroad for over a year and therefore was going to cancel the contract on his apartment. With a bit of luck Harm was able to take over the lease on the two-bedroom apartment. He'd be moving in one week before he was scheduled to start working again.

Besides taking care of Isabelle he had also been working hard at getting back into physical shape and was well on his way. He had also taken Mac's advice to go and see someone to talk about his experiences in Afghanistan with and was now seeing a civilian psychiatrist, who was specialized in helping people who had been in hostage situations to cope, every Wednesday afternoon. Isabelle spent those afternoons with Jack. Something Harm hadn't done yet though was to start reading those law books Sturgis had given him and through that preparing to go back to work. After Isabelle had said that she thought it was easier to learn things together with her mom, Mac had again become the one in charge of her learning, even though Harm was of course still very interested in how things were going. This night when Mac sat down with Isabelle on the living room couch, Harm was as always sitting in the armchair although tonight he picked up one of those law books and started reading.

While Isabelle was rewriting her ten words for the second time, Mac looked up at Harm. She couldn't help bursting out in laughter. Harm had his arms stretched out as far as he could away from his eyes and his head was also bent back a bit to increase the distance between his eyes and the book. Still it didn't seem to be enough and Harm's face was in a grimace trying to make out the letters in the book. At the sound of Mac's laughter both Harm and Isabelle looked up at her.

"Harm, maybe you should go and have your eyes checked out," she got out.

"There's nothing wrong with my eyes," Harm muttered and picked up the book again and now held it at a normal distance from his eyes.

"He always reads the paper in the morning like that as well," Isabelle confided in Mac. Harm ignored them and just kept reading.

"Is it going well?" Mac asked him.

"Splendid," Harm muttered.

"Than read something aloud for us," Mac encouraged him.

Harm just pretended that he hadn't heard her.

* * *

"You know it really isn't that bad to have glasses, Harm," Mac said later the same night after she had put Isabelle to bed and was just going to start getting ready for bed as well. Harm was still sitting in the living room.

"No?" Harm looked up from the book.

"No, it's not," Mac said. She walked over to him. "Goodnight Harm," she leaned over and kissed his cheek.

"Goodnight Mac," he whispered back. He watched her leaving the room and decided to go to bed as well. Tomorrow he'd make an appointment with an optician.

* * *

A few weeks later Harm and Mac were sitting in the living room late in the evening. They often did that after Isabelle had gone to bed. Harm was reading through the law books, successfully now that he was wearing his new glasses, and Mac usually did some reading for her job. But it wouldn't always be just work, they also talked about a lot of things during these evenings. Sometimes a problem with Isabelle that they needed to handle together, sometimes it was a walk down memory lane and sometimes they were simply being friends listening when the other needed to be heard. Mac was truly surprised with the confidence and friendship that they had been able to build and rebuild in such a short amount of time. Harm was just as surprised and could hardly believe the kind of people they had both developed into.

This evening they were sitting in the living room on their usual spots, Mac on the couch and Harm in the armchair. It had been a warm day, but now the sun had set and it was beginning to get colder outside. Mac looked up from the report she was reading and looked over at Harm. It took a while before he noticed her watching him, but when he did he looked up to meet her eyes. He gave her a questioning look.

"You know Belle's birthday is coming up …" Mac started out.

"Yeah," Harm nodded. Considering he spent almost all of the time with Isabelle and it was pretty much all she had been talking about for the last week or so, it would have been hard for him not to know it.

"She's said that she wants a guitar and I'm thinking it might be a nice gift for us to give her. She's been working so hard this summer with her reading and writing and I think she deserves to get something she really wants."

"I agree and a guitar sounds great. We could play together, that would be nice," Harm said getting lost in thought. Most of the time they would pretend that the day that Harm would move out would never come, but they also knew that they needed to keep reminding both themselves and Isabelle that them living together wasn't going to last forever.

"She told me she wants to invite Sandra … and Jack over here for her birthday," Harm continued. Mac nodded, Isabelle had told her about that as well. It had been a tradition that Isabelle always got to invite two guests of her choice over for dinner on her birthday. "Are you going to be OK with that?" Harm asked concerned.

"Yeah," Mac said "You don't have to worry about me. I can behave," Mac tried a smile. Except for Mac picking Isabelle up at Jack's place every Wednesday , they hadn't really talked to each other ever since they had talked things out after the fight about Harm living in the house. They both felt that they needed to have a break away from each other. Mac shook herself out of her thoughts "Are you going to be OK with it?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" Harm answered back with a question rather defensively.

"No, I … Why wouldn't you be," Mac mumbled to herself. "I'm going to go off to bed now. Good night, Harm."

"Good night, Mac," Harm said. He regretted getting so defensive, but he also knew that to some part they needed to keep the distance between themselves.

**TBC**


	19. Part 19

**Part 19 **

"Isabelle, can you go and open up for your guests?" Harm shouted when he had heard someone knocking on the door. It was Isabelle's birthday and it was about time for the dinner guests to arrive.

"Coming," Isabelle shouted back from her room upstairs. Mac had never seen her so thrilled with a present ever before as she'd been with the guitar. Isabelle and Harm had spent most of the day trying to learn the first accords that you needed to know to play some simple songs. Isabelle had come running to the door as soon as Mac had come home from work to show her what she had learned. Mac's day at work had been tougher than normally and she had been dead when she returned home so she had been very glad that Harm had already prepared the lasagna, Isabelle's choice, so there really wasn't that much for her to do except to decorate the cake they were having for dessert.

Isabelle came running down the stairs and walked up to the door. Harm came with her incase it was Sandra and her mom and they needed to schedule when she was going to be picked up.

"Happy birthday, honey," Jack said when Isabelle opened the door and she sprung into his arms.

"Hi Dad," Isabelle got out and had her arms tightly around Jack's neck.

"Hey Jack. It's nice to see you again," Harm tried his best to be nice and polite so that this evening would be nice for Isabelle.

"Nice to see you too, Harm," Jack said. With one arm still holding Isabelle he got out his right hand to say hello to Harm with.

"Do you have something for me?" Isabelle asked looking curiously at the paper bag Jack had sat down right beside him.

"Yes, I do. Hold on a minute," Jack bent down to get the present out of the bag. "This is for you, Belle. I hope you'll like it."

"Thank you."

There was another knock on the door and Isabelle turned around to open up for Sandra. The two girls greeted each other and soon the two of them and the two men went into the living room. In a little while Mac joined them and she sat down beside Isabelle and watched her unwrapping the present from Jack. It was a new set of paper, pens and pencils with which Isabelle would be able further develop her artistic talents.

A few minutes later Harm went to check on the lasagna in the kitchen and soon returned to say that dinner was now served. They went out to sit at the table on the back porch. The atmosphere was a bit tense among the adults, but the fact that all of them were trying to have a pleasant time made it all seem a lot better. Isabelle enjoyed her birthday, especially being the center of attention and she seemed very happy about the fact that Mac, Harm and Jack were talking so friendly with each other. After they were finished eating dinner Mac went and got out the cake. Isabelle managed to blow out all of the candles and even managed to keep her wish a secret. When there was only a few pieces of the cake left and no one of them could get anything more down, Isabelle and Sandra disappeared up to Isabelle's room to play and the adults were left alone.

"So," Harm started.

"So," Mac agreed.

"So," Jack said "When are you going back to work, Harm?"

"In three weeks."

"It will be quite a transition, won't it?"

"Oh yeah. Definitely. So are you still flying sometimes?" Harm asked.

"Only in my spare time nowadays," Jack said and continued to tell Harm about his last deployment at sea. While Harm and Jack were talking more lively and friendly with each other, Mac started to put the plates together and carry them out to the kitchen. Jack paused in his talking and he and Harm asked if they should help her, but she declined stating that she was just going to carry it out to the kitchen and then call Trish to talk to her about them coming over for the weekend and Isabelle's party. After Mac had left the porch, Jack and Harm continued to talk and catch up. Even though their conversation never got to be very deep, they still both felt that the friendship they had once had was still in some ways there. Almost an hour later Isabelle and her friend came back down and wanted to play the song Harm had taught her earlier the same day. Sandra's father showed up at the time they had made up earlier and Jack then decided he'd better leave as well.

When they closed the door after their guests Isabelle looked pretty tired, but that didn't stop her from wanting to continue the day a bit longer.

"Can you teach me some more on the guitar?" she turned to ask Harm.

"Isn't it well past your bedtime now?"

"Please, Dad," she begged and then froze with her hand reached out towards him when she realized what she had said. Harm just looked at her in surprise and shock.

**TBC**


	20. Part 20

**Part 20 **

"I'm sorry," Isabelle turned and started running up the stairs to the safe haven that was her room.

Harm couldn't get a word out. He was too shocked to be able to express his joy at hearing that word to do or say anything at all, but when Mac started going after Isabelle he followed her. At the top of the stair Mac had caught up with Isabelle and grabbed hold of her hugging her close to her body. She sat down on the floor and her daughter had now laid her arms around her neck and was hiding her face in her mother's shoulder.

"Honey, it's OK. It's nothing to be upset about," Mac tried to comfort her.

"I didn't mean to say it."

"But you know what… Belle, look at me." Mac nudged her shoulder so that Isabelle would look up. "It would be perfectly fine if you'd want to call Harm Dad. If that feels right in your heart," Mac said and put her hand at Isabelle's chest right over where her heart was.

Isabelle looked sideways at Harm and then she leaned in and whispered something in Mac's ear. Harm didn't hear what she was saying.

"Of course he does," Mac protested.

"How can you know that?" Isabelle said.

"Well, I …" Mac looked at Harm with pleading eyes asking him to say something. Even though she knew he didn't know what it was that Isabelle was afraid of, she knew that only he could make her understand that there was no need for her to worry.

"Belle," Harm took a deep breath and took Isabelle's hand in his. He knew that saying this was the right think to do, but it didn't make it any easier. "I know that you think of Jack as your dad and that you call him that and … I know that me being back doesn't mean that's changed. I was away for a very long time. I … I just want you to be happy and … I love you Belle so very, very much."

Mac looked at Isabelle to see how she would react to that and she didn't have to wonder for a long time. Isabelle moved her arms to lay around Harm's neck instead.

"I love you too," she simply said. Harm couldn't hide the big smile on his face.

Mac felt how tears were starting to build in her eyes and were threatening to overflow.

"I was afraid that you would be angry with me," Isabelle admitted. She was still wrapped in Harm's arms.

"What!" Harm said chocked "Why would I be angry with you?"

"Because … well because I said … Dad and I thought maybe you don't want me to call you that," Isabelle leaned back a little so she could see Harm's face. Mac stroked her hair.

"Oh, but I … I would like that … I would like that a lot," Harm said.

Isabelle smiled and hugged Harm once again.

**TBC**


	21. Part 21

**Part 21 **

"I can't believe we're here," Mac sighed.

"Where?" Harm sat down on the chair beside Mac at the kitchen table in his new apartment. Mac was taking a sip from the water bottle in her hand. There were a few cartons with take-out Chinese food, which had just been delivered to the door, in front of them on the table.

"Well, you know. That you've been home for three months now and are moving out. That you're going to live here," Mac motioned her hand around the room. She was thinking back on the time that Harm had been staying with them in the house. She could never have imagined that it would go so well. Better than well actually. Especially the last couple of weeks had been wonderful, though Harm's impending depart had put some damper on their moods the last week.

"Oh that. Yeah, well I think that it will be all right. I mean this apartment is … great and you and Belle will be close, but …"

"But it won't be like before," Mac said sadly.

"No, it won't," Harm said and looked down on his hands that were holding the carton with chicken and sticks. "I will miss you, both of you." He reached out his hand and squeezed Mac's for a second.

"We … I will miss you too." Mac looked into Harm's eyes, but for a second the silent exchange between them was too intense for both of them and they looked down at their hands.

Their discussion changed to safer subjects and they weren't talking all the time either. Both of them were tired after having moved Harm's things from the storage and the things he had had at Mac's house. Jack, Sturgis and of course Isabelle had helped during the day, but the last couple of hours Harm and Mac have worked alone. Sturgis had to go home and Jack took Isabelle with him to go and get something to eat much earlier and had by now hopefully gotten her to bed.

"Can I ask you a favor?" Mac asked as they were pretty much finished. "I know you'll be busy this week, it being your first week back to work, but I thought I'd still ask you first."

"You can always ask," Harm smiled.

"Could you take Isabelle on Tuesday?"

"Sure," Harm said without giving it a lot of thought just then. He had already decided that he wasn't going to let work come between him seeing his daughter. They had already missed too much time. "Are you doing anything special?"

"Jack and I have an appointment with the family counselor."

"Oh," Harm said shocked "Are you … Are you going to try again?" he asked obviously shaken at the thought of it.

"No, no, we had just decided on this before. It's sort of like a check-in to see how everything is going halfway through the separation-time."

"Good," Harm couldn't help letting out a sigh.

"Good?" Mac asked her eyebrows raised.

Harm looked at her actually quite surprised that she's heard him. Harm had to take a few deep breaths to collect himself before he started talking and explaining himself.

"Mac, there's something I've been meaning to tell you for a long time. I couldn't find the words and I'm not sure that I've found them yet, but I need to get this out," Harm took a deep breath. He was going to take this from the beginning.

"On Belle's birthday, when she called me Dad for the first time," Harm couldn't help smiling when he remembered that. Since then she had started using Dad for him sometimes, even though she still said Harm most of the times. "When I said that I love her, it was … it was the first time I've ever said that to anyone. I never told the people I loved that I loved them. I hoped that I showed them how I felt, but …" Harm had been looking down on his hands, but now he looked up into Mac's face. Something told him that she would be there regardless of what he said.

"Most important, Mac. I never told you how much you meant to me, still means to me," Harm took yet another deep breathe "How much I love you."

"Harm," Mac reached out and put her hand on his arm "Of course I love you too. I always have. You're my best friend, the father of my child. Of course I love you."

Harm wanted to scream out that that was not how he meant it. That he had wanted more than to have her as his friend, he had wanted it all with her and though he didn't even dare to think it, he still did. But Harm was silent and the chance slipped away.

At the same time, Mac wanted to tell him exactly in what ways she had loved him. The emotions she had expressed were just the top of the iceberg. She wished she had taken this chance to talk everything through, especially about what had happened between them that night almost nine years ago. But Mac was silent and the chance slipped.

**TBC**


	22. Part 22

**AN: **Thanks everyone who has in any way sent me feedback. I appreciate it more than words can tell. I hope you have liked my rate of posting these last weeks … Many great thanks to Cria for betaing, sometimes it's more needed than other … There's more AN at the end.

**Part 22 **

Mac had prepared herself to come home to an empty house and was surprised to see Harm's car parked in the driveway. When Mac had told Isabelle that she was going to be at Harm's apartment for the Tuesday-evening, she had wanted to stay over at the apartment. It wasn't easy for her to see the father that she had just gotten to know move out again and she wanted to stay close to him.

Mac parked her car and walked up to the door. She realized that it was much later than she had thought, but the time this evening had passed so fast. Now it was dark outside and the lights were out in most of the houses. It sure was a time of the night when most people, adults and children, were supposed to be in bed.

Mac snuck into the house, wondering if Harm had gone to bed in his old room. The house was silent, but in the living room, she could now see that the lights were still on. Harm sat in 'his' armchair with his head resting uncomfortably against his shoulder. Mac walked over and touched his arm. He stirred and awoke looking at her.

"Hey," Mac said quietly. "What are you doing here?"

"What … what time is it?" Harm asked and then proceeded to look at his own watch. "Belle changed her mind about staying at the apartment, so we went over here. I didn't think you'd be so late."

"Neither did I."

"You could have called," Harm said slightly irritated.

"So could you. I didn't know you were wondering where I was," Mac answered slowly trying not to get upset.

They were silent looking into each other's eyes.

"So how did things go at the counselor's?"

"Good. We talked a lot. I think that I sort of realized for the first time, how much Jack and our relationship really gave me. How much we both learned from it. So regardless of this outcome, I don't have to regret anything."

"That sounds good," Harm said sincerely.

"I don't think we ever had such a good session when we were still trying to stay together, but now we … finally we're working for the same thing. We have distance to everything that happened back then," Mac was standing with her back against Harm looking out the window that faced the back yard. "I think we'll be OK," she made a small pause "We've both been so hurt. Much more hurt than we realized and now we're healing," She sat down on the couch and looked at Harm. "When we left the counselor's we weren't finished talking so we went out to have dinner. There was so much to say … that's why I was so late."

"I'm sorry about earlier. Of course you can stay out as long as you want to," Harm smiled "Even if it is a work night."

Mac smiled back at him "Oh thank you." Mac closed her eyes. She hadn't really felt how tired she was before "How was your day?"

"Wonderful if you like to read endless reports about petty thefts and young sailors going UA."

"Oh that wonderful," Mac smiled at him.

"It's just been two days and I'm already bored to death."

"I'm sure you'll be JAG's hotshot lawyer again sooner than you think," Mac tried to comfort him.

"I don't know about that. It's like Sturgis has no faith in me."

"I think you're wrong about that. I'm sure he has plenty of faith in you. He just doesn't want you to have any setbacks because you've taken on too much."

"You know what, I think it's just a matter of time before he wants me to look at next years budget …"

"Are you staying here tonight?" Mac said after she had been unsuccessful in stifling a yawn.

"No, I'll go back to the apartment. I think it's better that way."

"I guess you're right," Mac said thoughtfully "We'll still see you on Thursday, right?"

"Yeah, I'll see you then. Take care, Mac."

"You too, Harm."

**TBC**

**AN: **OK, so I hope you did enjoy getting this many parts in just two weeks, unfortunately I have to tell you that I won't be able to keep it up. I have volunteered to do mandatory military service in the Swedish army and I'm starting that on Monday, so for at least two weeks I won't be anywhere close to a computer. After that I'll be allowed to go home pretty much every weekend so you can at least hope for weekly postings then. I would be able to post another part before I go, but you should know that that part ends kind of cliffhangerish so I would like to know from you if you want it now even though you have to wait two weeks for the conclusion of it … It's up to you.


	23. Part 23

**AN: **You've helped me to decide to post this part now. The next part won't be for another two weeks. That means that I won't be able to get back to you if you write to me, but know that I appreciate it and will try to as fast as I can, though I can't give any promises as to when. Thank you to everyone who's sent me such wonderful words of encouragement!

**Part 23 **

Weeks and months passed and Harm, Mac and Isabelle got used to their new everyday-life. The work Isabelle had put in with her reading and writing during the summer had certainly paid off and she was doing well in school now, although she still had to work harder than most of her classmates to keep up and Mac suspected that it would always be like that.

Harm spent a lot of time at Mac's house wanting to stay close to both his daughter and Mac. Some days it was like those eight years that Harm had spent as captive in Afghanistan couldn't have happened. The memories and scarves, both visible and invisible, were still there, but the way things were right in those moments made it impossible for them to believe that something so bad could have happened to them.

Isabelle had started taking guitar-lessons by a real guitar-teacher, but she and Harm still played a lot together. This had been a very normal Tuesday and Mac had picked Isabelle up after her lesson and on the way home Isabelle talked her into stopping by at Harm's apartment so she could show him the result of the Math test she had gotten back from the teacher the same day. They weren't supposed to have dinner with Harm this evening and Mac knew how proud she was of the result and wanted her to be able to share that with her father right away.

Mac drove up and parked the car in front of the building and walked after Isabelle who was already running ahead of her. Mac caught up with her in front of the apartment just when the door was opened.

"Hello," a tall blond woman in her late thirties said. She was wearing a blue rather tight fitted sweater and a pair of jeans.

"Are we on the wrong floor, Mom?" Isabelle had turned around to Mac. Mac just shook her head. This had obviously been a big mistake.

"You must be Isabelle. Harm has told me so much about you," the woman smiled and said.

"Yeah? Is he in there somewhere?" Isabelle tried to look past her into the apartment.

"He's in the kitchen cooking," the woman told her and stepped away from the door so Isabelle could run to him. Mac could hear Harm greet her with surprise in the kitchen and not much later shouting for joy most likely after being shown Isabelle's test.

"I'm Barbara James," the woman had brought out her hand to shake Mac's, but Mac ignored it and simply walked past her.

"I'll just go and get my daughter and I'll be out of your hair in no time," Mac said it like it was an excuse, but the tone of voice definitely had nothing apologetic in it at all.

Barbara walked after her into the kitchen. "Shall I help you with something, Harm?" she asked him before Mac got a chance to say anything.

"No," Harm said rather confused that his little kitchen was all of a sudden full of people. At the same time both the water with the rice and the sauce boiled over. In all of the excitement he had forgotten about his food. He quickly took the pans away from the heat.

"Don't worry about it, Harm. I'll help you with it," Barbara said very reassuring and put a hand on his arm. Harm looked rather uncomfortable with that, but that wasn't seen by Mac. Barbara started looking for something to clean up the mess on the stove with.

"Harm keeps the towels in the bottom drawer over there," Mac told her dryly. "Honey," she turned to her daughter with a much milder voice "I think we'd better go now and leave Harm with the lady."

"OK," Isabelle walked over to Mac.

"I'll walk you out," Harm said.

"It's OK. We know the way," Mac looked at him with a meaningful look in her eyes. Harm looked back at her his eyes saying it hadn't been a question.

"I'll just go and get the book I forgot here yesterday first," Isabelle said and went away to look for it in her room.

"Mac, it's not what you think," Harm started whispering as they were standing in front of the door waiting for Isabelle to return.

"Harm, it's really none of my business how many long legged blondes you cook dinner for in your own apartment," she interrupted him, but she didn't really fool him that that was really how she felt.

"Commander James and I just work together at JAG and we're the one's stuck with the …"

"Do you even believe that yourself?"

"It's the truth," Harm said and moved out with his hands. Right now there was obviously no point in talking to Mac. It was weird because ever since he'd been back they had always been able to talk at all time. Sometimes they had gotten annoyed with each other, especially when Harm was still living at the house, but they had always been able to communicate and hearing each other out.

"I found it," Isabelle returned and after saying goodbye she and Mac left Harm's place.

* * *

A few hours later Mac was sitting at her kitchen table. She was feeling extremely bad about her behavior. Even Isabelle had asked her why she'd been so unfriendly to Harm's friend. For the last half an hour she had been sitting at the table with her phone in front of her trying to make up her mind weather to call Harm right now or wait until tomorrow to apologize in person. She picked up the phone and dialed the number, before she pressed the green button that would connect her call she paused and then went ahead with it. She had called his cell since she knew that if he was still with James he would probably have it turned off and she could leave a message on his voicemail.

After just a couple of seconds Harm's recorded message picked up. "You've reached Commander Harmon Rabb. I can't take your call at the moment, but leave you name and number after the beep and I'll call you up."

Mac took a deep breath "Hey, it's Mac," she paused and sighed "I'm just calling to say I'm sorry about how I acted earlier this evening. I mean I acted like a hormonal territorial teenager and I don't know what got into me. I want you to know that I believe you when you say that you were just working. You would never lie to me; I should know that by now, I know. And even if you were seeing her or anyone else for that matter, it's of course really none of my business. You deserve to find someone you can be happy with and I hope that when you do I can be happy for you. I can only hope that I can … It's just always so hard for me to see you with someone else, because … because I'm in love with you …" Mac sighed loudly "I didn't me… of course I meant it, but I didn't mean to tell you like this … I'm sorry I think I really screwed things up now. Can we just forget everything about this message?" Mac tried to sound hopeful "I don't want things to get awkward between us. I just … I'll see you tomorrow," Mac's voice didn't sound quite as cheerful as she wanted to "And I'm sorry, please don't be angry with me."

**TBC**


	24. Part 24

**AN: **I'm back for my first weekend of leave. It's very nice to have some time to rest a bit, because it's been two very tough weeks. However I am enjoying most of it and I hope I will be for the next 14 ½ months as well. Great thanks to everyone who sent feedback on the story! It was wonderful to come back and read your reviews and e-mails. Many thanks also to Cria for helping me with the story!

**Part 24 **

Mac hadn't been able to get a whole lot of work done during the day. She wasn't thinking about Harm and the phone message from yesterday all of the time, but it was impossible for her to focus on the things that were right in front of her. By lunchtime her colleagues had all noticed her mental absence, but so far no one had commented on it and Mac was very grateful for that. Tonight Harm was coming over for dinner as previously planned and Mac hoped that they were going to be able to behave just like they normally did around each other.

The rest of the workday passed just as slowly for Mac, but finally it was over and the three of them were sitting together at the kitchen table. They had promised Isabelle that for once they were going to have take out and Harm had picked up some pizzas on the way over. Most of the conversations went around Isabelle, but that was really not that unusual so she didn't notice anything different with her parents. After dinner Isabelle went and got her schoolbooks and first Harm helped her with her math assignment and when they were finished Mac helped her with English.

"Dad, is she your girlfriend?" Isabelle looked up from her English book and asked Harm. Mac had left for just a minute to go and put the things from the laundry machine into the dryer.

"What? Who?" Harm asked starting to get rather embarrassed. Of course he understood who she meant. "No, I just work with her," he then added.

"Does she want to be your girlfriend?" Isabelle continued to ask.

"I'm not sure, but she won't be because I don't want her to be my girlfriend."

"Do you want someone else to be your girlfriend instead?" Isabelle asked and right then Mac returned to the kitchen.

"Honey, I think you better get back to your work now and we'll talk about that some other time, OK?" Harm said and his voice told Isabelle it was time to stop asking.

When Harm came over for dinner he always stayed until Isabelle went to bed so he could be there and tuck her in and this evening was no different. After Isabelle had gone to bed and Harm had read her bedtime story to her, he came down the stairs. Mac was standing in the laundry room folding together some clothes and making one pile for herself and one for Isabelle. He stepped into the laundry room and Mac at once noticed his presence.

"She's asleep?" Mac looked up at him.

"Not quite, but she will be soon."

"You better get home then," Mac said and smiled.

"No, Mac. I think we better talk. We need to talk."

Mac swallowed "OK," she said knowing that she couldn't get out of talking to him about it if that was what he wanted to do and if she wanted to have a chance be able to stay his close friend.

They went into the living room and Mac sat down on the couch, but this time Harm didn't as usually sit down on the armchair and instead he sat down beside Mac on the couch.

"Harm, I'm sorry about the call yesterday. I honestly didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable or awkward or destroy any of that what we have with each other as friends and co-parents. I hadn't planned, it just kind of … happened."

"Mac, just stop for a while," Harm interrupted her "I … hearing that message from you yesterday was … so wonderful. And I honestly don't quite know how I managed to get through this day, or the hours together with you in this house for that matter, … but I wanted to see you when I told you," Harm stroked her cheek slowly with one of his finger. "Mac, I'm in love with you. I have been ever since I met you. I always will be in love with you, Mac, and only you."

Mac looked into his eyes. He could read a bit of disbelief and surprise, but most of all they mirrored a lot of happiness. His hand was still connected to her cheek and neck and he made small circular movements with his thumb trying to reassure her, that he was still there.

"I love you too, Harm," she said. She was fighting to keep her tears under control, but a few still escaped her eyes and traveled down her cheeks. They came from relief, but also from a great sadness that for a couple of seconds flooded over her. It wasn't just the lost eight years when Harm had been missing, but all the years before that that they could have had together if only they could have had this conversation years before.

Harm leaned closer to her and she brought her hands up to hold his head. The gap between their lips was getting smaller and smaller as they neared each other with slightly open mouths. They both jumped apart when the loud sound of the phone was heard. The moment was completely gone and besides Mac didn't want the phone to wake Isabelle up so she reached over to the kitchen table to get her phone.

"Hello," she said not quite able to hide her annoyance.

"No, it's OK. I was just …" Mac said. Harm motioned to her that he could step out if she wanted some privacy, but Mac put her hand on his leg saying that he should stay. "Actually I'm a little busy, Jack, so maybe I can call you back later."

"OK," Mac nodded even though Jack obviously couldn't see her "2 o'clock is fine. I'll see you there, Bye." Mac had hurried to finish the call.

"That was Jack," Mac said totally unnecessary. "Something has come up with our divorce-papers and we need to go in to the lawyer's office tomorrow."

"Oh, OK," Harm nodded "I hope everything works out OK." Jack's call and the message he had delivered had effectively changed the atmosphere between them. They had both been reminded that Mac was still legally a married woman and if there was going to be a chance for the two of them they needed to do things right from the start. Harm stood up from the couch and looked at Mac. She followed him out to the hallway where she remained standing in the entranceway while Harm got his shoes on.

Harm had grabbed the doorknob and looked and Mac with so much longing in his eyes, that she needed to grab hold of the wall beside her to remain at her spot and not rush over to him.

"I'll see you around, Mackenzie."

"See you around," she smiled at him.

**TBC**


	25. Part 25

**Part 25 **

Three weeks had passed since Harm and Mac's revelations to each other and in that time they had tried to act as normally around each other and they had actually succeeded quite well in that. After all they did have a lot of practice hiding their feelings for each other and other people, however now they had a completely different understanding between themselves and even of it wasn't close to enough for them, they were still able to silently enjoy this step forward.

Harm had just been up in Isabelle's room and tucked her in for the night. He popped his head into Mac's office where she was sitting working on a report that was due in the next day.

"How's it going?"

"Ah …" Mac said not sounding very encouraged and looked up from the papers "Thanks for all the help lately, Harm," she added sincerely. Harm had spent every evening the last couple of days at Mac's house helping her out with Isabelle, but also other things that needed to be done around the house so that she could focus on getting the report finished.

"You would do the same for me."

Mac nodded. The truth was it wasn't exactly the first time one of them had had an unusually heavy workload and the other one of them then had taken more responsibility for Isabelle during that time.

"I think tonight will be an all-nighter," Mac stretched out her legs under the desk.

"I'd stay and keep you company, but I'm not sure how helpful that would be."

"No, I think I'd have a hard time to focus then," Mac said and the flirty way in which she said it caught Harm totally off guard, but he smiled at her none the less.

"I got these with my mail today," she patted a brown envelope on the top of on of the piles on her desk. "It's the divorce-papers. It's final," she added just for clarity.

"Are you OK with that?" Harm asked truly concerned about her.

"Yes. There's not a doubt in my mind that this was the right decision to make. I just need to take one look at Belle to know that that's the truth. There's no fighting anymore in this house and I don't think you can understand how much this safety of her knowing what she comes home to every night as done for her. I just can't help believing that the fact that she's doing so well in school now is because of that," Mac looked around the room not sure on what she should let her eyes rest on. "But that's not just because of our separation. Of course it's you being here too."

"Thanks, Mac. It means a lot to hear."

"It's the truth," Mac simply said.

"I'll see you tomorrow then," Harm said and started backing out of the room.

"The report is due in tomorrow, so you don't have to …"

"If tonight will be an all-nighter you will need to sleep tomorrow."

"You're too good to me, Harm," Mac sighed happily.

"You deserve it."

* * *

Ten minutes after Harm had left the house the phone rang.

"Hello," Mac answered putting the phone between her head and shoulder so she could put both of her hands down on the statistics she was working with so that she wouldn't be lost and have to start over.

"Hey Mac," Harm said. He knew that he had probably disturbed her, but he hoped that it wouldn't inflict on the answer she'd give him.

"Oh, it's you," Mac said surprised.

"Disappointed?"

"Absolutely not."

"Good."

"Did you forget something?" Mac asked him.

"Yes, actually I did. I wanted to ask you something. What do you say to going out for dinner on Friday?"

"On Friday," Mac said "But on Friday Belle has that sleep-over at Sandra's, remember?"

"Yes, I do remember that," was all Harm said.

"Oh, you mean," a light had gone up for Mac "Just you and me."

"Yeah, if you want to that is."

"Yes, I do want to. I would love to."

"I'll pick you up at seven then."

"Sounds good," Mac said.

"I'll see you tomorrow then."

"I'm looking forward to that. Bye, Harm." Mac hung up the phone and looked down on her desk. She noticed that her fingers had left their positions on the paper and now she had no idea where she had been and she needed to start over again. But she wasn't really irritated about that at all, her mind was in a much happier place. If it would have been hard for her to focus if Harm had been there it was nothing compared to what it was now.

**TBC**


	26. Part 26

**AN: **Hey all, I'm back for the weekend and that means you get a new part of the story. Thanks to everyone who are sending so very much appreciated words of encouragement. Thank you Cria for betaing the story!

**Part 26 **

Harm knocked on the door and was surprised when Mac didn't immediately open. He knocked again and then heard someone coming running down the stairs and soon the door was opened. Mac was standing on the other side of it her hair wet and a towel wrapped around her body. She looked wonderful to him, but for some reason he doubted that this was how she planned to go out. By a reflex Harm looked down on his watch to check that he hadn't been too anxious and been there way too early, but his watch showed exactly seven o'clock.

"Harm, I'm so sorry. I drove Belle over to Sandra's house and Mrs. Jones just wouldn't let me leave. I couldn't exactly tell her I need to go, because I have a hot date," Mac sounded very stressed and was obviously feeling bad about being late. "And I just couldn't come up with another good excuse to leave."

"Wait a minute, Mac. I'm a hot date?" Harm asked her mischievously.

Mac looked at first a bit embarrassed, but then her expression changed to amused and she smiled at him in answer to his question.

"Go and get dressed and I'll wait right here," Harm told her reassuringly. "We still have plenty of time."

"I'll be right back," Mac said and rushed upstairs again.

Seven minutes later she returned downstairs fully dressed, her hair in order and a little bit of make-up on.

"Hey," Mac said and Harm looked up from the newspaper he'd been reading.

"That was fast," Harm said.

"I'm a Marine," Mac smiled.

"I know," Harm took in her whole appearance. She wore a pair of black trousers and a very nice red top with a black jacket over it. "You look great."

"Thank you," Mac said and smiled. "You're very handsome yourself. I think I might have forgotten to tell you before."

"Shall we?" Harm offered his arm to her.

"Yes."

The dinner at the restaurant was very nice and afterwards they took a walk looking on all of the lights and Christmas decorations. It was now the middle of December and Christmas was really all around. As a silent agreement, they hadn't talked at all about Isabelle. They wanted to make this just about them and therefore they had also decided to wait with telling everyone else about them. Even if they had chosen not to talk about Isabelle and also avoided talking about work, they still had plenty to talk about and for a few minutes they also enjoyed just sitting there in silence looking into each other's eyes.

They returned home to Mac's house and Mac invited him inside for a cup of coffee. So far the physical contact between them had only consisted of Mac taking his hand during the walk. Now they sat down beside each other on the couch with the coffee cups in their hands. For the first time this evening things were starting to feel a bit awkward for them and the silence that now filled the room was not the comfortable one.

"I had a really nice time tonight," Mac said just to say something.

"So did I."

Mac smiled at him and took a sip of the coffee. "I can't believe that we haven't done this earlier."

"I wish we could have told each other how we felt earlier, especially before that night."

"Yeah, I do too," Mac answered "I guess the only reason why it happen was that I had this idea or maybe fantasy that once it had, we were going to be able to talk about it and about our feelings, but in reality that didn't happen."

"You know, I felt something similar," Harm said and then turned to her putting down his cup on the table "Mac, please tell me the truth. All those years when I was away and you didn't know how I felt about you, did you feel like I had taken advantage of you that night? Were you mad at me?" he reached out to touch her hand in some hope that he then would force her to tell him the truth.

"No," Mac said forcefully "Never mad at you. But, well at some times it kind of felt like we had both taken advantage of each other but for different reasons," Mac said with regret in her voice. "But we were both adults and … free to do what we wanted I guess."

"That was never how I wanted us … our first time to be like."

"I know that now, Harm," Mac looked down and some strains of her hair fell down and covered her face to him "It was definitely not how I wanted it either," she told him and he moved his hand from hers and pulled the astray hairs away from her face.

"It's so strange I always thought you knew how much I loved you, that it was so obvious in the way I acted around you," he confessed "I was so surprised when Sturgis said that you never knew I loved you."

"You talked with Sturgis about me," Mac said surprised.

"Yeah, remember that night when we had dinner with Sturgis and Bobbie?"

"Harm, we have dinner with them twice every month," Mac protested.

"Yeah, but this was the very first time. Sturgis and I were in the kitchen preparing the dessert. We were talking and all of a sudden we saw you in the doorway. I thought you had heard it."

"Heard what?"

"Me telling Sturgis that I had been in love with you back then."

"I had no idea what you were talking about," Mac said suddenly remembering the moment "But it sounded personal and I just didn't want to impose on you, that's why I didn't go in there."

"I wanted to rush after you and talk to you, but Sturgis didn't think I should. He was afraid I'd hurt you."

"You would never hurt me."

"Not intentionally, but …"

"I wish you had told me," Mac said. She put her hand on his hand that was lying resting on his lap.

"No, it wasn't the right time. You were getting a divorce and … we still weren't ready."

"Do you think we're ready now?" Mac asked suddenly feeling very insecure.

"I think the fact that we've talked about it proves that we are."

"Harm, I do love you," Mac said like she wanted another proof of it and the fact that it came so easily and felt so comfortably to say did prove that to her.

"I love you too," Harm answered her and the words came just as easily for him. Mac started to close the distance between them and Harm wasn't late to follow.

"Do you think you would mind it very much if I kissed you right now?"

"Not at all," he said making a small pause between every word.

This time there were no interruptions. Once the physical contact was there any awkwardness they had felt earlier in the evening was completely gone. There was nothing to make it end with just one kiss.

Forty-five minutes later Mac released the contact between hers and Harm's lips, but the physical contact between their bodies was still intact. She looked straight into his eyes.

"Do you want us to slow down?" Harm asked her.

"No," Mac answered "Unless you?" Harm shook his head "Then maybe we could …" she searched for the words "… go somewhere we can be more comfortable?"

At that Harm nodded and together they got up from the living room couch and walked upstairs.

* * *

"You are so beautiful, Mac," Harm whispered to Mac as they much later lay on the bed snuggled together.

"You make me feel that way," the smile on her face grew even brighter.

Harm felt Mac shiver. "Are you cold?"

"A bit," Mac answered. Harm pulled her closer to his body and made sure the cover covered them up to her nose tip.

"Better?"

"Mm," Mac answered affirmative. "Will you stay here tonight?" she asked "You know, so I don't get cold ..."

"I'll stay. Wouldn't want you to get cold? I mean you could get sick and we wouldn't want that."

Harm could almost feel her smile against his chest where her head was resting.

"I feel so safe when you are here. Belle feels the same way," Mac admitted.

"I'm glad I get to be here."

"Me too," Mac said. She took a deep breath "Where do we go from here?"

"I don't know. You're the one who seemed so … prepared for this."

Mac just smiled. "Well, you know a couple of years ago I kind of missed with the whole protection-thing and I decided not to do it again."

Mac felt Harm tense up. "Harm, I'm not saying I regret that night or getting pregnant from it," she told him and decided to share some of the things she had realized about herself a few years ago "I'm a survivor," she started off by saying "I can't truthfully say that without you I couldn't survive, because it's what I do and who I am. But to actually live? There's a difference between surviving and living."

Harm nodded affirmative. He got that concept. Surviving was what he had done in Afghanistan not living.

"But because I was pregnant, because of Isabelle, just surviving wasn't enough, I had to really live for her sake. It's only because of her that I was able to move on, fall in love, get married and … be happy. Isabelle saved my life. Not the physical one, but the mental one. I don't think I would have been able to love you today, if it wasn't for her and what she made me do with my life when you weren't here. I've never ever regretted having her, but I also remember how scared I was when I found out about my pregnancy and the insecurities it brought with it because it was unplanned and I promised myself not to ever put myself in that position again, so I decided to always be prepared, just in case."

"I hope you already know that I don't see the fact that you moved on with your life when I was lost and you thought I was dead as a … rate of value of your feelings for me. Mac, you did such a wonderful job raising our daughter. I know you don't give yourself enough credit for it and I should remind you of that more often," he was softly playing with some strains of hair at the back of her head "And I've been meaning to thank you for everything you've done for me ever since I came back. You've helped me more than anyone else can understand."

"But Harm I haven't done anything. I mean I've been the one needing you, asking stuff of you and you've helped me more than anyone could ask with her and with a lot of other things that you definitely should not have had to do besides I think maybe I out too much of being a parent on you from the start. You hardly had any time to get used to the fact that you were a father before I asked you to make decisions about her life. Seriously Harm I haven't been helpful at all to you," Mac concluded.

"Mac," Harm protested "That's exactly what it was. You let me into your life again with open arms and you even let me into your home for months when I didn't have one. That time after I had just come back was so tough, I tried to hide exactly how tough though I think you saw through that, but I didn't have to go through it alone and that made it so much more bearable," he sighed and hugged her even closer to him. "You gave me an everyday life when I so desperately needed something to make my life about. You did ask things of me, but that was great because it meant that you didn't treat me as a …" he couldn't come up with a suitable word and just let it be "like pretty much everyone else did at first. They were so careful around me it did more harm than good. You always treated me as a normal, capable man and an equal and that helped me become the man I am again. And most of all you treated me as Belle's father right from the start and that … it made me see that I had a place here in your life and in her life."

"I don't know what to say," Mac said when Harm had stopped talking. She had never seen it like that.

"You don't have to say anything. I just wanted to say thank you to you."

"I … I don't feel like I've done anything special at all, Harm," Mac explained to him how she felt. Even if what he said was true she hadn't done those things consciously though she of course had wanted to help him as much as she possibly could, and that made her feel rather uncomfortable about his thanks. "But it does … I appreciate you telling me. Thank you for … being you and being here," she leaned her face up and smiled at him with lots of appreciation in her eyes.

They lay silent for several minutes. Mac had almost fallen asleep when Harm started talking again.

"It still doesn't solve where we go from here?"

"No, but … Let's just take one day at a time. See each other as much as possible and we'll see what happens," she suggested.

"Do I sound very egoistic and self-serving if I hope that there will be many sleepovers for Isabelle in the close future?"

"No," Mac said feeling the same way "Besides I'm sure she has a great time there as well. And eventually we'll tell her and things will get easier," Mac said thoughtfully.

"I'm glad we decided on not telling anyone yet. I think I want to keep you just to myself a little while longer," Harm confessed.

"I kind of want you just to myself as well, but," she made a quick pause "in some way I want to share this … happiness with everyone and especially with Isabelle too."

"I know what you mean, but that time will come," Harm answered "I just think maybe it would be a little to soon … with everything. But I hope that soon we can be a real nuclear family, all three of us together, just like we were supposed to be."

Mac just nodded in response, but stayed silent.

"Good night," he whispered when they had been silent for a couple of minutes.

"'Night," Mac answered him and it didn't take long until they were both sleeping comfortably together.

**TBC**


	27. Part 27

**Part 27 **

Mac, Trish and Isabelle were in the kitchen of Grandma Sarah's house in Belleville preparing the Christmas dinner. It was Christmas Eve and the three of them had already been at the house for two days getting everything in order and enjoying some of the early holiday atmosphere. They were all going to celebrate Christmas up here on the farm. Any minute now the car with Harm, Frank, Sturgis and Bobbie was going to arrive. They had all had to come later because of their jobs.

Ever since Isabelle was born Mac, Trish, Frank, Sturgis and of course Isabelle had celebrated Christmas together at the farm. After a couple of years Bobbie and later Jack had joined them. After Sarah Rabb passed away, they had continued to drive up to the farm for Christmas. It was simply so wonderful to be able to share the time of year with the people you cared about away from all the stress of the everyday life.

"I heard a car, Mom," Isabelle said for the millionth time "Did you hear it, Grandma?"

"Yes, I think this time I did," Trish answered her "Go open the door and check, won't you?"

"It was them," Isabelle shouted excited when she opened the door.

"Put your shoes on," Mac shouted back knowing Isabelle was probably already halfway out the door. Mac and Trish walked over to the door as well to greet them. They saw how Isabelle rushed towards the car. Harm braised himself for the impact of his daughter throwing himself at him, but to his surprise she ran around the car and up into Frank's arms instead.

"Hey Grandpa. I missed you really, really, really much," Isabelle said hugging him very tightly.

"I missed you too, sweetheart."

"You didn't miss me?" Harm joked with her. He for sure had missed her and wanted a hug too. Meanwhile Sturgis had put the wheelchair next to the car so that Bobbie could get into it. Harm had gotten two of the bags out of the car and Sturgis got the rest of them. Together the group started walking up to the porch where Mac and Trish were waiting.

"Yes, a little bit, but I see you everyday, Dad," Isabelle said. "And it was forever since I saw grandpa."

At hearing that Trish grabbed a hold on Mac's arm. "I can't believe children forget things so fast. I mean I have a hard time believing that he's here even when he's standing right in front of me and for her it's so certain that she sees him everyday."

"Well, I guess … We do see him everyday and he is a … I mean I feel certain too that we have him as a part of our life from now on, but ..." she sighed "I haven't forgotten though …" she added and the pain in her voice was heartbreaking to Trish.

Their conversation was caught short when the newcomers had arrived at the door and Trish hurried them inside to try to keep the heat inside the house. Several minutes were spent greeting, hugging and kissing each other. Mac had to go and check on the food while the rest of them went upstairs to install themselves in the rooms upstairs. It was a good thing this house had many bedrooms. While everyone went upstairs Harm excused himself saying he needed to visit the restroom, however he sneaked off into the kitchen and Mac. Mac was quite surprised that suddenly she found herself in his arms being twirled around. Their mouths found each other for a quick kiss.

"Hey," Mac said.

"I missed you."

"Missed you too." Harm tried to lip lock with her again, but now she protested, "What if someone catches us?"

"Right now I don't care," Harm held on to her a little longer. Mac couldn't help laughing, it was such a wonderful joyful and festive atmosphere around the house "But I guess you're right." He backed away from her "I'll be back, though."

"I'm counting on it," Mac laughed at him.

Soon everyone was gathered around the dinner table and they enjoyed the food in a very festive spirit. Everyone was talking and laughing and though they remained quite long after they had finished eating, it didn't feel like very much time had passed when they finally got up from the table.

"You better get going?" Trish turned to Mac and Sturgis. She had just discovered really how late it was.

"You still want to do it?" Mac looked at Sturgis.

"Yeah. Well, it's a tradition, isn't it?" Sturgis simply said.

"You're still not going to tell us what exactly it is that you are doing?" Frank laughed at them and Mac and Sturgis looked at each other and shook their heads 'no'.

"Just get it over with," Trish said "We'll take care of everything here."

"Are you sure?" Mac asked.

"Just go," Trish said and smiled. She knew that something with this walk they took every Christmas Eve was very important to them even though she didn't know at all what it was about.

Mac and Sturgis went and got dressed to go outside and meanwhile the rest took care of the kitchen and then went to sit in the living room. Meanwhile Isabelle had gone upstairs and put her pajamas on and brushed her teeth so now she could sit on Harm's lap and slowly doze off into sleep.

An hour after they had left Sturgis and Mac returned. Isabelle was pretty much asleep and Mac lifted her up to carry her up to bed. When she returned downstairs she sat down beside Trish on the couch.

"Everything OK?" Trish asked her.

"Yeah, she didn't even wake up."

"There's only one person missing here now," Frank said.

"I think she's still here even if we can't see her," Mac said looking dreamingly out through the window.

Sturgis looked at her skeptically. "Do you see something we don't, Mac?"

Mac picked up the little cushion behind her and threw it at Sturgis.

"Play nicely," Trish laughed them. Sometimes you could really think that they were real siblings and probably quite a few years younger as well. "I think I'm going to go to bed now," she added and got up.

"I' coming with you," Frank said. He was ready to go even though he was still on California-time and it wasn't really all that late to him.

Sturgis and Bobbie looked on each other and jointly decided to follow the older couples example.

"I'll wait until the fire is burned down," Ham said and motioned towards the fireplace.

"I can keep you company," Mac said very casually.

"Good night you two then," Trish said and several good nights were exchanged between them.

Once they were all upstairs Harm looked at Mac. "Aren't you going to come over here?" He was sitting on the couch on the other side of the table.

"Just a second," Mac said and walked up to the fireplace and put some really big logs in it.

"But now it'll never burn down," Harm protested slightly.

"Exactly," Mac sat down on his lap and rested her head against his chest. "I missed you."

"Missed you too."

They sat silent for a couple of minutes. "So are you going to ask?" Mac then suddenly asked Harm. He'd been looking at her rather intensely.

"Ask what?"

"What Sturgis and I were doing?"

"I'm not saying that I'm not curious, but I don't want to push you into telling me something you'd rather keep to yourself."

She looked up at him and smiled "Did you go to the wall?" she then asked him.

"Yeah, I did. Actually Frank came with me."

"Oh. How was that?"

"It felt good."

"Good," Mac nodded "He's a good man, Frank."

"Yeah, he is."

"Trish is quite anxious for him to slow down a bit."

"He should," Harm agreed.

Again they silently watched the fire burning just being glad to be together.

"Mac, there's something I want to talk to you about," Harm broke the silence after a couple of minutes. "I know this is may be moving way to fast," Harm started off.

"Well, we don't exactly have a record of moving slowly," Mac reassured him "I mean seriously we slept together on our first date. Before our first date really," she said a bit thoughtfully.

"If you feel that this is way too soon or not right or I don't know anything ... I want you to know that I … I will wait for as long as it takes," he paused and started to take something out of his pocket that was luckily not covered by Mac. "Mac, I love you and I love our daughter. There's no one else I know better than I know you and I know that we will be there for each other through better and worse, and that's why I don't want to wait with asking you this," Harm had gotten the little box out of his pocket and opened it to take out a ring. Holding it between his fingers he showed it to Mac.

Harm took a deep breath before he started off again "That first night you asked where do we go from here and later I realized I already know where I want us to go. I don't want to wait any longer, I want us to be a family and live together and share everything with each other. All the dreams I have for my life, you are present in all of them. I couldn't imagine a future without you in it. Love you so much," He paused for a few moments. For the first time during his speech feeling nervous about it, but it was too late to turn back now. "Mac, will you marry me?"

**TBC**


	28. Part 28

**Part 28 **

"Yes, Harm, I will," Mac said with so much joy in her voice "I will marry you." Tears threatened to flood her eyes. "How could I not? You are …" Harm and she both leaned in for the kiss that followed. It was sweet and still promised a lot for the future. "I love you. I will never stop loving you," she promised him.

They remained sitting together in silence and watched the fire burn down. A few times they broke the silence to say a few words, but the whole time there was such a complete togetherness between them that they really didn't need to say anything.

When the fire had burned down they unwillingly got up and went to bed separately. Neither one of them was able to fall asleep for several hours. Mac realized that they weren't going to be able to keep this a secret for long if she still wore the ring the next morning so she put it on a chain that she could have around her neck so the ring was covered by her clothes.

What had happened this night truly was a wish come true for Mac. Every Christmas Eve Sturgis and she went out to the old bridge that went over the little river close to the farm. They both brought five little papers with them and upon them their five biggest wishes were written down. One by one they would threw them into the river and loudly say what it was that they wished. It was Sturgis who had come up with the tradition after the first Christmas they had spent up at the farm together. Mac had been unable to enjoy anything about the holiday, just going around wishing that Harm was there and thinking about the what-ifs. The holiday had only made everything worse for her. Everyone else there, also family and friends of Harm's had of course also not been unaffected by his disappearance, but they were still able to laugh a bit and expressing the joy of what they still had. Isabelle had only been five months so she hadn't really understood the whole Christmas-concept, but she had still been very affected by how badly her mother felt.

Sturgis had decided that he didn't want there to be any more Christmases like that in the little girl's life and the next year on Christmas Eve he had taken Mac with him on walk saying that this hour that it took them to go to and from the bridge, Mac could use to bury herself in her sorrows and self-pity, but the rest of the time she was going to be happy at least for Isabelle's sake. Well by the river they had written down their wishes, Mac's biggest wish of course being that Harm was going to come back. Every year since then they had done the same thing and though it had taken eight years, Mac's wish had finally come true. The last wish she had sent over the bridge's railing earlier this evening had come true much faster though. She had wished that she, Harm and Isabelle would become a real family. It was going to happen sooner than she had thought.

She sat down on the edge of her daughter's bed and stroked the hair away from her face. She hoped she would be as happy about this as her parents were when she'd find out about it.

* * *

Mac was woken up the next morning by Isabelle who was practically jumping up and down on her bed. She felt the consequences of staying up so late last night pretty much in her whole body, but she quickly shook it out of her system. There was no room for being tired today.

"Mom, you have to wake up so we can open all of the presents. Everyone else is already down there and Grandma finally said I could go and wake you up."

"Oh, honey," Mac smiled at her "Do you know what time it is?"

"It's probably past 8 because Grandma said you should be allowed to sleep until 8 and after she told me I could wake you up I had to run upstairs," Isabelle was talking with such an excited voice it was almost hard to understand what she was saying.

"I just need to get dressed and I'll be right down," Mac said deciding that there was no reason to try to plead with her daughter for a couple more minutes in bed.

An hour later all of the Christmas presents had been opened and on the floor around Isabelle was Christmas paper everywhere.

"Mac, I know I got her too many this year again, but I just can't help myself," Trish excused herself as she always did "She's my only grandchild so I don't have anyone else to spoil."

"You make someone happy with it," Mac said and smiled. Everyone went into the kitchen to start getting some breakfast ready. Trish, Frank and Isabelle had been up so early that they already had had breakfast, but none of them said no to a second one.

After breakfast everyone sort of went away on their own. Isabelle was playing with her new things while Trish and Frank watched her, Mac started getting the things out for the cake she had planned to bake for the afternoon. As she had all the things standing in front of her she realized something was missing. She felt pretty stupid when she realized that she had forgotten the lemons for the lemon cake. She got her purse and car keys deciding that she was just quickly going to run to the store to get. Surely something must be open even on Christmas day. Trish protested saying that they could live without the cake, but Mac wanted to do it saying she wouldn't be long anyway.

A few minutes later Harm, who had taken a shower, came down the stairs. He was rather disappointed to find out that Mac was gone, even if it was just for a little while.

He sat down in the living room together with the rest of them. Despite Mac not being there, it was wonderful to be together with his loved ones and watch Isabelle enjoying herself, although he could see that it would have been a lot more fun for her to be able to play with another child. He had been an only child himself and he knew more then well what it was like to spend all the holidays alone with just adults. Who knows, he thought to himself, maybe she won't be the only child a lot longer. At least he hoped she wouldn't be.

Isabelle decided that she wanted to try to learn one of the songs from the new songbook she had gotten from her father and went upstairs to get her guitar. Meanwhile Harm's cell phone started ringing in his jacket that was hanging by the door and he got up from the couch to get it.

He checked the caller-id and went into the kitchen and closed the door before answering.

"Hello gorgeous!"

The person on the other side of the line said something.

"No, I think we're all set here," Harm answered her. He was standing with his back against the door and missed Isabelle entering the room wanting help with some of the accords.

"I miss you too," Harm said "I love you." He waited for the other person to respond and then he hung up the phone.

He heard someone behind himself, but before he had a chance to turn around the person who had been standing there was gone and all he saw was the door being shut.

"Who was that?" he asked himself loudly. This really wasn't good at all. He composed himself for a few seconds and then he decided to go back out to the living room to face the monsters. He hoped it had been Frank, someone who could be a bit discrete with what they had more than likely heard.

He went into the living room as well and there Isabelle was sitting on the couch with her guitar on her lap. She was just starting to sing and play a Christmas carol she had spent a lot of time during the last month learning and soon they all joined in. Sturgis and Bobbie had been outside, but had now returned and sat in the living room as well.

Once Isabelle had finished playing she put the guitar down beside the couch. She looked around from one person to another that was sitting around the coffee table.

"Do you want to know a secret?" she asked them all.

At hearing that Harm figured out right away who it was that had overheard his conversation on the phone. The rest of the adults however nodded encouragingly at her.

"Dad has a girlfriend," Isabelle said anyway. Everyone's eyes had been focused on Isabelle, but now they all turned to look at Harm.

"Since when, Harm?" Trish got out. "Why am I always the last one to know?"

"Mom, it's not …" Harm didn't know what to say and just stopped talking. The fact that he looked so embarrassed and awkward just made the rest of them even more interested.

"Does Mac know about this?" Sturgis asked very seriously. He was worried about how Mac would react to this, especially after hearing her wish from yesterday. "You have to tell her, Harm."

"Yeah, I will eh … talk to her about it," Harm got out. He really didn't like how this was unfolding.

They continued to discuss this among themselves for several minutes to Harm's dismay, but though they tried there best to get more information out of him he didn't tell them anything more. Isabelle was very disappointed that he didn't tell her who it was. All of a sudden they heard the door open and Mac came in stomping the snow off of her shoes. Seconds later she showed up in the living room with a small grocery bag in her hand. She sensed something was off, because everyone was far too quiet.

"What's up?" she asked hoping to get some answers.

No one said anything so Isabelle felt like she needed to fill her mother in on it. "Dad's got a girlfriend."

Mac raised her eyebrows looking at Harm.

"I heard him talk to her on the phone," Isabelle further explained.

"Oh," Mac said realizing what had happened.

"You knew about this," Trish accused her "And you didn't tell me. Apparently I can't trust any of my children anymore." Harm and Mac exchanged a look.

"Grandma, you can trust your grandchildren. I told you about it," Isabelle said feeling sorry for her grandma. She climbed up onto her lap.

"OK, just calm down everyone," Harm said and looked back over at Mac, she gave a quick nod of encouragement. He stood up and lifted Isabelle up from his mother's lap so he could hold her in his arms. Mostly talking to Isabelle, but also turned to the rest of the crowd as well as exchanging looks with Mac he started talking "First of all the woman I talked to on the phone is not my girlfriend, she's my fiancé," Harm heard his mother loudly grasping for air. "And second of all I would like to introduce her to you. Everyone this is my fiancée Mac," he had started to walk the short distance over to where Mac was standing "Mac, this is everyone." He put the arm that wasn't holding Isabelle around Mac and she simultaneously put her arm around his back.

For a few seconds the whole room was silent and then everything broke lose. Trish repeated 'Oh my God,' so many times Frank got very scared for her. Sturgis' face burst out into a big smile and he was quick to approach them and congratulate them both.

"I can't believe you finally figured things out." He hugged Mac so tightly, she felt like he had squeezed all of the air out of her.

"No thanks to you, my friend," Mac told him. "We'll have a talk about that later."

Bobbie just laughed saying she should have guessed it. Frank helped Trish to stand up and walk up to them.

"Don't you ever do that to your mother again, Harmon Rabb," Trish threatened him.

"I have no intension to," Harm smiled looking into Mac's eyes.

"Mom," Isabelle, who had just remained with her father the whole time, said "Mom." She climbed over to Mac's arms. She really is getting to heavy to be carried like this, Mac thought to herself

"Belle, honey," Mac said. "What is it?" Isabelle looked very thoughtfully. "I hope you're not upset with us."

"Mom, what does financée mean?" Isabelle asked having troubles getting the word right.

"Fiancée?" Mac smiled at her "That means that Harm and I are going to get married."

"Really?" Isabelle said and her whole face turned into a smile.

"Yeah," Harm said "Is that OK with you?"

"Yeah, it's OK," Isabelle said "Will you come and live with us again then?"

"As soon as your mother lets me into the house," Harm said. Right now he couldn't imagine go back to live alone in his apartment, but he knew they'd have to take this at a pace they were all three comfortable with. However he wasn't going to hide his intentions anymore.

"Mom, please. Won't you let him? We still have everything in his room and … everything," Isabelle tried to plead her case. None of the adults could help smiling at that, Harm, Mac and Isabelle however seemed completely unaware of the rest of the people in the room.

"I think we'll be able to work something out," Mac and Harm exchanged another look and smile. "I'm sorry honey, but you need to go down now, because you are getting way to heavy for me," Mac let Isabelle glide back onto the floor.

"Can we go out and play in the snow now?" Isabelle asked standing between her parents and taking hold of their hands.

"Yeah," Mac and Harm both agreed actually quite excited. They were quite happy to be able to get out of the house and just be together as a family. Sharing this wonderful feeling with the rest of their friends and family would come later.

"I think it will be really great when you get married," Isabelle said as they were standing just outside the door looking out at the snow-covered landscape.

"You know what, Belle," Harm said "I'm sure it will be."

"Better late than never, right?" Mac agreed.

**The End**

**AN: **First of all I want to thank everyone who has encouraged me way back from when I started writing fanfiction. Without it, it would be very hard to dare to post more of my writings, but most important it has helped me to be a better writer. Cria's work with betaing this and other stories has of course been very appreciated as well. Thank you all!

Right now I don't have a lot of time to write, because of my military training, but I still have some ideas and some things written out, so hopefully this won't be my last story. However I have decided that I won't start posting another story unless it's completely finished, so for now I can't really say how long it will be until there's something new.

Once again thank you Cria and all of the reviewers!


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